The Big Wank Theory

A theory that says that the universe, life, and everything in between is the result of God releasing premature ejaculation.
I just explained to my astronomy teacher about The Big Wank Theory and now I am sitting in ISS.
by Pickle Richard October 11, 2019
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Straight Jacket Wank

Cross ur arms like your in a straight jacket and put ur nob between ur arms and move ur arms up and down
Aaron Hastings Sat Like Buddah and folded his arms ready for a straight jacket wank
by Rian Cushing December 27, 2009
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A wank with some challenges.

For instance, your phone may be nearly out of battery, so you have to hold your phone and charger at a particular angle to keep it charging. The movement will dislodge the charger at the worst possible moment, with the risk of phone dying being a real threat.
"Bruh I had a logistically challenging wank last night, Jesus Christ it was more difficult than doing the Christmas shopping
by cancerisnotaverygoodthing November 21, 2018
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Soapy Tit Wank

in this context, used to describe the inane and vacant expression sometimes appearing upon an individual's countenance, suggesting that they are unable to focus or concentrate on current events owing to a preoccupation or pervious misdemeanour involving some form of deviant activity
Andrew, you've gone all Soapy Tit Wank again; will you please just get a grip, a life and a proper haircut, or just fuck off home, will you?
by The Poison Dwarf July 15, 2010
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Jank my wank

the act of one party ejaculating another parties male genitilia. said very often by logan while playing COD4 online.
Jank my wank bitch! I just pwned you!
by Asa_911 August 03, 2008
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Mexican Wanking Fish

1. Slang term to descibe an axolotl.

2. An axolotl who is just BEGGING for a mate, but their owner doesn't want to get another pet.

3. A penis.
1.
Gotta go, I have to feed my Mexican Wanking Fish...

2.
My pet axolotl Bubbles is SUCH a Mexican Wanking Fish. He drops his sperm everywhere in the tank and I'm too afraid to stick my hand in the tank to feed him.
I am saving up for that cute pair of pink high-heels and I don't want to get him a stupid mate!

3.
Dude, do your fly up - I can see your Mexican Wanking Fish!
by Thora "Trif" Rogers September 22, 2006
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ball pot wank

Wanking while sticking a couple of fingers up your own arse. Sort of like a manual simulation of taking the central role in a no-handed conga, or being the meat in a man sandwich.
Euggh what's that under your fingernails? Oh sorry I got carried away and had a ball pot wank last night.
by Bearded Clam January 07, 2007
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