Turtle Net

Beyond slow and very slow Internet Connection.

Sorry late reply, I'm using a turtle net.

by PuyatLord June 11, 2014

Turtle

A "turtle" (ie TURD-le) is what you call someone who is a little turd (or little shit). It is used when you don't want them to know that that's what you actually think of them.
Turtles are usually young males who think they're better than everyone else, they often call themselves "alpha males" but they're actually not, they're little shits or turtles.
Often the fathers of turtles will excuse the poor behaviour of their sons by proudly saying "Oh don't mind him, he's just an Alpha male."

Josh? You're such a turtle!

by Turtle dominator! February 3, 2020

peter turtle

A Peter Turtle is the act of being so lonely that you have no choice but to sit home watch netflix and masterbate using your own tears as lubercation.

Hey Dale did you see that guy at lunch, poor fella he seems like a real Peter turtle.

by Maddog55 October 25, 2019

ninja turtle

when someone opens up to their fear or tells a deep story about themselves, but is interrupted by someone who says something unnecessary or asks some nonsense. the phenomenon is called beeing "ninja turtled"

"I told my deepest fears but was interrupted by an ninja turtle"

by Merihaka July 29, 2021

sea turtle me

When she has her partner place his flacid penis that resembles a sea turtle head in her mouth and allows the turtle (penis to get erect) inside.

I am bored come sea turtle me.

by Definition magician April 9, 2021

Pettin’ the Turtle

A situation when one takes an incomplete shit, leaving a protruding “turtle head” behind. The shitter then must pet the lodged turtle head approximately 70 times with toilet paper or moist wipes, shitter’s choice of course.

Mary was pettin’ the turtle for a solid hour after the lunch special at Benihana.

by Daddylongdick813 October 30, 2019

Turtle-stabbin

A popular term for inserting a man's penis into an anal cavity. Most likely this is done in the doggy style position however can be done in many other preferred intercourse techniques.

"After the I left the bar last night, I went Turtle-stabbin with Stacy. Got into a bit of a sticky situation."

by Tiffini Smith February 8, 2018