Window wank of faith

The act of jerking off outside a window whilst crying as the person commiting the act has come to terms with the fact that they are a pathetic welp of person who looks up vaguely sexual terms on Urban Dictionary to get a hard on, only to quickly be struck with the epiphany that they are wasting the precious life they have been endowed with, and the person you could have been has been burnt into nothingness by your abhorrent choices in life, and you are just the abysmal shell of what could have been a potentially good human being.

my name jeff

also, stop looking up shit like window wank of faith and do something productive for once you cognitively inept mongrel.

by GetPrankedFaggo April 3, 2017

Houdini bag wank

When one places themselves in a hold-all, zips it up and secures with a padlock. Once secured in the bag, you wank yourself into oblivion and finally try to escape.

Sorry I’m late for work boss, I decided to try a Houdini bag wank this morning.

by Jim’ll fist it February 11, 2023

Wanked all over

Occurs mainly whilst playing any form of game or even if you feel like it in everyday life

I was playing a game of FIFA and I wanked all over some nit but he got the win

You better fuck off before I wank all over you
I was playing chess and I got that motherfucker in checkmate needless to say he was about to be wanked all over

by torkyj February 3, 2020

Shitty Wank Demon

A weird Youtube creature that stalks through Youtube looking for the next victim. May or may not have a virus in the video, but is otherwise harmless.
The video is of a claymation guy pooping and then blowing his load on his feces, and a rabbit humanoid creature pops out and gives him 3 wishes. The guy wishes for a castle and one appears but it's made of poop and cum. Then he asks for a boat and a boat made of poop appears, and then he asks to go home and is teleported to a world made of poop and wank.
Another video has a person (maybe the same dude from the first) doing the same as before but in a toilet, so the shitty wank demon's wife appears and throws poop like a chimp.

Don't go to the Shitty Wank Demon's world, it is made of raw sewage.

by happyatcommonsense March 26, 2019

utter wank stain

The worst sort of cunt. Someone who acts like a dick all the time.

That guy rick is an utter wank stain.

by Sheggles2point0 April 22, 2018

30,000 Feet Wank

To jerk off in the airplanes bathroom, specifically mid flight.

Guy 1: I just did the 30,000 Feet wank
Guy 2: Who are you? Why are you telling me this?

by Whatconstipationlookslike October 30, 2020

Jaws-Mode Wank

A niche practice where a man will bite off his own penis for sexual gratification while imagining a drunken Robert Shaw singing.

Sky News now apologising for language in Dominic Cummings message accusing Boris Johnson of 'Jaws-mode wank'

by Humphrey the Cat October 31, 2023