Wanking off a Smurf

When people have blue hands which have been dyed with ink, paint etc they are said to have wanked off a smurf.

Why are your hands blue? Have you been wanking off a smurf or something?

by thanksthatsastupidsuggestion March 7, 2021

Houdini bag wank

When one places themselves in a hold-all, zips it up and secures with a padlock. Once secured in the bag, you wank yourself into oblivion and finally try to escape.

Sorry I’m late for work boss, I decided to try a Houdini bag wank this morning.

by Jim’ll fist it February 11, 2023

stank n' wank

When you plop on the porcelain throne and simultaneously shit and masturbate into the same pot. To conserve water? To be efficient? Hell if I know. Intent and order of operations do not matter. If there's fudge and gravy in the bowl, you just had a stank n' wank.

My last bowel movement got me going so I decided to have a stank n' wank instead.

Went to the latrine to pleasure myself, and was there so long I decided to stank n' wank to save myself another trip.

by CreditToStefan December 7, 2016

Winnie the Pooh wank

The act of masturbating, while only wearing a tshirt, and being totally naked from the waste down. Made famous by Winnie The Pooh who never wore bottoms.

I had a Winnie The Pooh wank last night, tshirt on and nothing else.

by RichieBigTits December 14, 2022

Wank team 6

When you are sleeping next to a loves one and you need to run one out, you roll over to one side and masturbate undetected.

Oh man, last night I had to sleep with me mum. I had to call in Wank team 6 and everything.

by Dyank MeyMeys December 21, 2016

Pokey bum wank

To insert ones finger in and out of the anus whilst masterbating ones penis with the other hand (speed and deph of finger is upto pbw,sters preference)

Tom:have you heard about something called a pokey bum wank its all the rage ooop north any idea what it involves
Rich: yes its the act of slipping a appendage or inanimate object up ones anus whilst wanking the penis with the other hand

I was doing a prison sentence a normal wank just wasnt doing it for me after 6 months of repetitive standard wanking so I was looking to spice things upby using a finger or 2 after 3 months fingers became boring so I started a long trawl of finding inanimate objects to insert and rating them out of ten is my final ambition to write up a pbw guide of best objects to use for a pbw with a ratings scale of shitty fingers so electric toothbrush 9 and a half shitty fingers out of ten

by Jack Mehoff jizz mater general November 20, 2016

yank my wank

To masturbate

1. You almost done?
2. Yeah, but first i gotta yank my wank

by Golf swinger on the daily December 15, 2016