by Ogwoodknocker December 13, 2018
Get the wood knockingmug. Yeah, this is going to be dope. I might do like a Samson one next.
*WHCH!*
Jesus "Ow."
*WHCH!*
Jesus "Ow. "
Guard "Alright now... Carry the wood."
Jesus "Okie dokie. OOF! That feels WAY heavier than I thought it would! It's weird being on the other side of it...."
Guard "Go!"
Jesus "Yeah, no I didn't make these meat Gundams very well..."
*Crowd clamoring in the background*
Father 😨 "What in the fuck is happening right now...?"
Crowd "Kill Jesus! Meh!"
Father "You KNOW he didn't do anything!"
Jesus "Ope... Going down... *THUD!*"
Guard "You there! What's your name?"
Father "Huh? Uh.... Simon? Simon of Cyrene."
Guard "Help him carry the thing. Help him carry the wood."
Father "Do you know even who you're talking to right... You know what? Whatever"
*Lifts wood*
Jesus "Hey *Father*! Er, oh... Heheheh."
Father "Yeahyeah, very funny."
Jesus "I think so. Yeah."
Father *exasperated sigh*
Jesus "I don't think that guard likes me very much."
Father "Yeah... I think I'm going to burn him alive later..."
Jesus "Heheheh."
Father "Tsk! This is dumb. Why are you doing this?"
Jesus "Yeah... I don't know.... What else is there to do?"
Father 😧 "Um... I don't know, I guess. I don't like this..."
Jesus "Hey, not too late to save me."
Father "From what!?"
Jesus "Heh... Alright. Here we are."
*WHCH!*
Jesus "Ow."
*WHCH!*
Jesus "Ow. "
Guard "Alright now... Carry the wood."
Jesus "Okie dokie. OOF! That feels WAY heavier than I thought it would! It's weird being on the other side of it...."
Guard "Go!"
Jesus "Yeah, no I didn't make these meat Gundams very well..."
*Crowd clamoring in the background*
Father 😨 "What in the fuck is happening right now...?"
Crowd "Kill Jesus! Meh!"
Father "You KNOW he didn't do anything!"
Jesus "Ope... Going down... *THUD!*"
Guard "You there! What's your name?"
Father "Huh? Uh.... Simon? Simon of Cyrene."
Guard "Help him carry the thing. Help him carry the wood."
Father "Do you know even who you're talking to right... You know what? Whatever"
*Lifts wood*
Jesus "Hey *Father*! Er, oh... Heheheh."
Father "Yeahyeah, very funny."
Jesus "I think so. Yeah."
Father *exasperated sigh*
Jesus "I don't think that guard likes me very much."
Father "Yeah... I think I'm going to burn him alive later..."
Jesus "Heheheh."
Father "Tsk! This is dumb. Why are you doing this?"
Jesus "Yeah... I don't know.... What else is there to do?"
Father 😧 "Um... I don't know, I guess. I don't like this..."
Jesus "Hey, not too late to save me."
Father "From what!?"
Jesus "Heh... Alright. Here we are."
Guard "Alright. Move along."
Father 😡 *Disgruntled mumbling* "Gonna move that fucking flesh along... Right offa that fucking skeleton of yours..." 😤
Guard "Alright. Let's nail him to the wood and get out of here."
*Hammering noises*
Jesus "Ow."
Guard *Stabs Jesus and walks away*
Jesus "Hey! Ouch! That is sharp...."
Dismas "Oh Lord! Please! Please forgive me!"
Jesus "Ok."
Gestas "Hey, why don't you just use your God magic, huh?"
Jesus "Ok."
Crow *Lands next to Gestas*
Gestas "AAAAAH! AAAH! MY EYES! AAAAAARRGH!!!"
Jesus "Heheheh... This is fun. You guys are fun... Hey... I'm getting cold... This... This feels weird... *Father*! Why have you forsaken me!? Heheheh..."
Father *Disgruntled groan* "GodIhateyousomuchrightnow..."
Father 😡 *Disgruntled mumbling* "Gonna move that fucking flesh along... Right offa that fucking skeleton of yours..." 😤
Guard "Alright. Let's nail him to the wood and get out of here."
*Hammering noises*
Jesus "Ow."
Guard *Stabs Jesus and walks away*
Jesus "Hey! Ouch! That is sharp...."
Dismas "Oh Lord! Please! Please forgive me!"
Jesus "Ok."
Gestas "Hey, why don't you just use your God magic, huh?"
Jesus "Ok."
Crow *Lands next to Gestas*
Gestas "AAAAAH! AAAH! MY EYES! AAAAAARRGH!!!"
Jesus "Heheheh... This is fun. You guys are fun... Hey... I'm getting cold... This... This feels weird... *Father*! Why have you forsaken me!? Heheheh..."
Father *Disgruntled groan* "GodIhateyousomuchrightnow..."
by Hym Iam August 11, 2023
Get the Woodmug. by Jackerofmeat October 27, 2018
Get the going into the woodsmug. An extremely large turd..
by kobalt October 30, 2009
Get the pulp-woodmug. by bigwood22 May 25, 2019
Get the big wood 22mug. It’s when life can throw some hard punches at you and you have to learn how to evade, get back up, and evolve in order to survive the next threat that comes into your life.
John: Dude I lost my job last month and it made my life a living hell and that’s what made me become an entrepreneur.
Dave: Bro “sometimes you got to live in the woods”
John: Dude that’s so true and I’m stronger from it
Dave: Bro “sometimes you got to live in the woods”
John: Dude that’s so true and I’m stronger from it
by Coboricua March 7, 2021
Get the Sometimes you got to live in the woodsmug. by YeetBomber101 May 29, 2019
Get the jack woodsmug.