Every June 1st is National Grumpy Asshole Day. Make sure to appreciate any grumpy asshole’s you know.
“Hey, it’s June 1st, you know what that means...”
“Ugh”
“It’s National Grumpy Asshole Day! Happy grumpy asshole day!”
“shut up”
“Ugh”
“It’s National Grumpy Asshole Day! Happy grumpy asshole day!”
“shut up”
by mwah_fishytits November 22, 2020
A Grand Theft Auto V reference. In the mission where Jimmy sells the boat, Michael will shout this when one of the guys who falls off the boat nearly hits his car.
by Leon Rhinehart January 05, 2015
Get the semen puking asshole dickhead mug.
by Angela Zarco July 28, 2005
A set of guidelines that applies to those who which to be found within the Goldilocks Zone of Acceptable Asshold'em.
1. Consider whether or not your assholish response is inflicted on someone that deserves it.
2. Treat customer service people well, but not TOO well.
3. Do not be an asshole to your significant other.
4. Be clear to people that you are to spend a prolonged amount of time with that you are an asshole.
5. If around men, pretend that your asshole comment is just a joke. If around women, reserve all assholish behaviors to an absent mutual acquaintance.
6. When applying an assholish generalization of a specific group (see rule #5 for an example), be sure to create plausible deniability by saying “not all” followed by the targets of ridicule.
7. Select certain opinions of your opponent as amusing, but not worthy of an actual response.
8. Be interchangeably and inconsistently nice to people you are often an asshole too.
9. Don’t be an asshole to someone you see as beneath you in the social hierarchy, such as the homeless, children or developmentally challenged.
10. Do not be afraid to break rules #1-9 every now and again.
1. Consider whether or not your assholish response is inflicted on someone that deserves it.
2. Treat customer service people well, but not TOO well.
3. Do not be an asshole to your significant other.
4. Be clear to people that you are to spend a prolonged amount of time with that you are an asshole.
5. If around men, pretend that your asshole comment is just a joke. If around women, reserve all assholish behaviors to an absent mutual acquaintance.
6. When applying an assholish generalization of a specific group (see rule #5 for an example), be sure to create plausible deniability by saying “not all” followed by the targets of ridicule.
7. Select certain opinions of your opponent as amusing, but not worthy of an actual response.
8. Be interchangeably and inconsistently nice to people you are often an asshole too.
9. Don’t be an asshole to someone you see as beneath you in the social hierarchy, such as the homeless, children or developmentally challenged.
10. Do not be afraid to break rules #1-9 every now and again.
"It's great to be an asshole, but you don’t want to be a total asshole. There's a balance that must be struck. Assholes who are total assholes suffer too much backlash for their nature and are generally considered insufferable by all. Thus, you must learn to follow proper asshole decorum and fall under the Goldilocks Zone of Acceptable Asshold'em. You have accomplished this when people say things about you like 'he's funny, but he's an asshole', or 'I like Dave, but he's kind of an asshole.' That's the Goldilocks zone. You want people to compliment you, or express fondness for you, but then immediately feel the need to point out that you’re an asshole. So here are 10 rules to be a proper asshole with impeccable asshole decorum."
-- TJ "The Amazing Atheist" Kirk, "10 Rules Of Asshole Decorum"
-- TJ "The Amazing Atheist" Kirk, "10 Rules Of Asshole Decorum"
by The Logical Fallacy February 27, 2019
1. The answer to any question, especially a stupid or inappropriate one.
2. What it is that I fucked last night.
2. What it is that I fucked last night.
1- Q: Hey, what time is it?
A: Your mom's sweet asshole.
2- After your dad gave me head last night, i finished myself off when i fucked your mom's sweet asshole.
A: Your mom's sweet asshole.
2- After your dad gave me head last night, i finished myself off when i fucked your mom's sweet asshole.
by dirty sanchez October 11, 2004
"Hey, you fucking asshole! Give me my fucking certificate. You were supposed to give it to me a year ago. How do you even keep your shitty, piece of crap, buisness running when you cant even do what you're fucking supposed to, you fucking pothead."
by Jolee Bindo May 16, 2005