Poseidon`s blowjob

pooping in the ocean

Q: What were you doing in the ocean for so long
A: I was just pooping, doing a Poseidon`s blowjob if you will

by AP9910 March 22, 2024

two finger blowout

When one partner simply takes 2 fingers unexpectedly. Then the other partner receives 2 fingers shoved in the butthole and then proceeds to have explosive diarrhea.

She was in the doggy position a waiting his cock, when he surprisingly shoved 2 fingers in her butthole and explosive diarrhea occurred. With great excitement he jumped up and yelled, "Yes! That's what I call a two finger blowout".

by LissyBlissy April 19, 2024

Giving a shotgun a blowjob

A simile for when your friend wants to do something stupid

Friend A: should I drive tonight?

Friend B: would giving a shotgun a blowjob blow your mind?

by 1blueheron December 11, 2024

Christmas Eve Blowjob

The time honored tradition of performing fellatio on a loved one under a lit Christmas tree on Christmas Eve in honor of the spirit of giving and holiday stress relief.

Variant 1: Christmas Eve Facial: special version of the Christmas Eve Blowjob that ends with the giver being frosted like a sugar cookie.

Santa: "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a mouthful!"

Ladies everywhere: "I can't wait to get my mouthful with this Christmas Eve blowjob!"

by Oral Hershiser December 24, 2024

Schrödinger's Blowjob

A thought experiment involving a blindfold, a guy, and a girl. While blindfolded, you receive a blowjob from one of them, but you don’t know who. The act remains "not gay" until the blindfold is removed. As long as you don’t look, it’s assumed the girl is doing the job—thereby keeping things hetero by default.

Bro, I got a Schrödinger's Blowjob, I think the dude sucked my dick because he was wiping his lips afterwards.

by dingusdugglas January 29, 2025

Sweet ring blowjob

You and your partner take any bag of gummy rings and stretch out the rings carefully and wrap them around your partners penis. Then your significant other proceeds to give the male a blowjob, eating the rings off his penis.

"Yoo, the other day Julia gave me a sweet ring blowjob!"

by anonymous February 14, 2025

Big-Bang Blowhole

A blustering, over-confident person, whose insistence that the INTERPRETIVE assumptions made since speculation about inferred-assumable doppler-shift like indications of the age of the universe, is as well proven, as other science, in-substantia of EXCLUSIARY standards, i.e. this... cannot be ANYthing else,.. of which science demands before one can claim to know something absolutely,.. whose blow-ING ... or pushing,.. bible-bashing,.. etc ... makes them 'A' blowhole ... for either the specific theory,.. or irresponsible conduct / sloppy science in general,

Whome is also, YET to have stopped, future-tense verb... blowING.

It can be combined with source indirect references, also - see example

Prof ambiguousPratt over in astrophysics, is such a massive Big-Bang Blowhole,.. i heard her going on about how that new grant is certain not to be a waste for the uni,.. but get this,.. she avoided 4 times! while i was evesdropping on her making her telephone call, whether or not we would be getting much from it ... in other words, yes, but technically, if it leads to other improvements in other things,.. not necessarily the results being aimed for,.. for the experiment in question. Who's not heard of that one before? Oh yeah maybe we'll get something valuable as a by-product somewhere down the line,.. i'm sure ... so nevermind whether or not ... MY ... experiment ... is going to be worth it for what's being aimed for just-within it. What a Big-Bang Blowhole, gosh i'm sick of her, every time there's reasonable scrutiny into efficiency, she doesn't shut up for weeks, phone constantly going around the corner, GOES OFF, for weeks on end, yeah i know, i know...

by Vurrath February 22, 2025