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Canada's History

a sexual act designed to tell a story through symbolic devices: specifically in this case, that story is the history of Canada. As an element of foreplay, the man pours some maple syrup on the woman's body, and licks it off of her abdomen, breasts, nipples, and vulva in that respective order. In honor of Samuel De Champlain's voyage by canoe through Lake Nipissing, the man rubs is penis lengthwise along the woman's vulva, and she bears down hard to spray his genitals with her urine. Then the man and woman perform oral sex on each other, burying their faces in each other's pubic hair, representing the fur trade. The man has intercourse with the woman doggy style, while slapping her buttocks vigorously, representing the French and Indian Wars. He also fists the woman's vagina; however she subsequently fists the man's anus; this exchange represents the War of 1812. After this point in history, Canada is known mostly for participatory, but not pivotal roles in world affairs. Therefore, any combination of missionary position and fingering are used to bring the woman to orgasm, representing the post-WWII prosperity of the country. Finally, the man ejaculates all over the woman's face, representing the sovereignty of Quebec.
Wife: I just feel like there isn't any excitement in our sex life, eh.

Husband: I think it's that we just don't have enough energy after all our other responsibilities, eh, the kids, work.

Marriage Counselor: Like I haven't heard that a trillion fucking times, eh!! You two should learn Canada's History like any responsible citizens would! Now get the fuck out and fuck!!!
by Guffaw February 5, 2010
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canada history

Defined by Stephen Colbert of the Colbert report("Coal-bear Re-pore") as a sex act that uses Moose antlers (including the skull), maple syrup, and the stanley cup. This sexuall act is performed when two gay french canadians give eachother hot maple syrup enemas, and then release maple syrup covered fecalmater into the stanley cup. Soon after said gay french canadians battle to the death with moose antlers and reach arounds........the survivor gets a large serving of french fries and gravy for pleasing the canadian moose god (a.k.a. the maple moose)
1-"Man frank sure is walking funny".

2- "He must of had too much "canada history" last night"
1- "ahhhh so thats why his farts smell like maple syrup, and french fries with gravy".
by Red A. Massive February 5, 2010
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ap european history

hell on earth. u learn a lot from it tho...IF u make it out alive.

u wont pass 1 test w/o studying 4 hours for it the nite before (4 hours meaning u just passed with a D) let me play it out for y'all:

1 hour - u gotta be kiddin me
2 hours - screwed
3 hours - haha good luck
4 hours - passing with a D...a very low D
5 hours - high D
6 hours - low C
7 hours - mid C
8 hours - high C
9 hours - low B
10 hours - lower-mid B
11 hours - mid B
12 hours - mid-upper B
13 hours - high B
14 hours - high B
15 hours - high B
16 hours - high B
.............yea, there is no way u can get an A

if u r currently enrolled or just signed up for this class...

good luck.

muahahahahhahahah!
i learned all about the political, social, economical, and other factors that influenced the european culture from the renaissance all the way to 2006 over the course of 1 year in an ap european history class... unfortunately im half the person i was wen i walked in the class the 1st day...because i tryed to comit suicide so many times.
by Alex Kayne September 17, 2006
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falsified history

Changed history in order to manipulate the people of a country.
Macedonian history is falsified history by a Serbian ,in fact Macedonia is a Bulgarian province.
by noooone August 5, 2006
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AP European History

A class that a high school student will take in hopes of trying to gain college credit. However, once taking the class, the student will realize the hell hole and shit storm of pain that they're engaged in and will probably just pass the class time trying to sleep.
Student 1: Dude what time did you go to bed last night?

Student 2: Damn man it was like 3. I had to finish my lit paper.

Student 1: Oh dang man that sucks I bet you're tired.

Student 2: Yeah but it's okay, I've got AP European History class next
by Marcus_Fenix May 7, 2009
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Canadas History

CH is a special act during which a prepubescent male moose is fed maple syrup for no less than 3 months, during that time all fecal matter is collected in a cup-like vessel made of silver and nickel-alloy commonly refereed to as the Stanley Cup.

After that time the moose is sure to have died of diabetes and its set of antlers and the filled cup are used to disable all inhibitions in post-menopausal killer-whales which in turn enables cross breeding with African Elephants to help stabilize their numbers.
This has led to an increase in Elephants over the recent months and their status as an endangered species is close to being revoked.
Thanks to Canadas History, we can start poaching again.

If it weren't for a lot of Canada's History, ebony would be twice as expensive
by Africanelephantlover February 5, 2010
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Making History

Any form of sexual intercouse made in the past that could potentially lead to children.
Guy: I never get any sleep anymore.

Girl: Well if you wouldn't stay up all night making history then you'd get more sleep.

Guy: I wasn't making history.

Girl: Good, cuz it only takes 1 night of history to lead to a little future.
by Otherdustin August 12, 2008
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