nonce

Like "once", "twice" and "thrice", but relating to something that has happened exactly zero times.

"How many times have you actually done this?"
"Once or twice."
"Really?"
"Okay, more like nonce."

by Adman12 December 30, 2005

NoNcE

A handsome guy

Ayeee I did it you nonce

by Angry bird™ April 22, 2019

nonce

slang name for celtic football club, a team for victims of child abuse and religious buggery.

we beat nonce fc 2-0 the other day

by rab douglas February 24, 2005

nonce

The sort of man that would come into your life, principly, to rape your babies. He may be a 'relative', or a 'complete stranger'. Will either befriend you or find ways of getting close enough to you to get at your children.
This may sound strange, but, he may even find a criminal way of impregnating you while you sleep and steal the undeveloped fetus for sex with the baby.

For many years, they drugged and raped me and stole my babies as I slept, and then raped the babies. He must be a nonce.

by janetw May 5, 2006

nonce

enya

wtf enya stop looking at my tits u nonce

by your dads favourite shagger May 2, 2020

nonce

An English word, usually used by roadmen and chavs, to relate to someone who hangs out or goes on dates with younger people. Also used to describe a pedophile.

'Right, that weirdo David from the University down the street, he's a massive nonce.'

by wasteman420 January 24, 2018

NONCE

A child ‘fiddler’

Aka a phedophile specifically towards childlins

STOP TOUCHING UP MY CHILD U NONCEY BOI

by Nioce boi July 12, 2018