A recently constructed toll lane on interstate 80 between Vacaville and Fairfield, CA that is in the fast lane that they make you pay to use. It was supposed to be to alleviate traffic, but the politicians lied and are making those who use it pay fastrak fees.
I got caught by the cops in the extortion lane trying to get around traffic and get to my job. Now I cant pay rent due to a $490 ticket…..
by thenextbojizzle February 9, 2026
Get the Extortion Lane mug.A recently constructed toll lane on interstate 80 between Vacaville and Fairfield, CA that is in the fast lane that they make you pay to use. It was supposed to be to alleviate traffic, but the politicians lied and are making those who use it pay fastrak fees.
I got caught by the cops in the extortion lane trying to get around traffic and get to my job. Now I cant pay rent due to a $490 ticket…..
by thenextbojizzle February 9, 2026
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Get the Unsignaled lane change mug.A chronically unaware driver who sets up shop in the left lane of any major Florida highway, treating it less like a passing lane and more like a reserved cruise control runway. Left Lane Larry doesn’t discriminate—he might be a local with a “Salt Life” decal and a sunburned arm out the window, or a snowbird tourist in a rented Altima with both hands on the wheel and a wide-brimmed hat still on indoors.
Larry isn’t actively malicious—just militantly oblivious. He ignores flashing lights, honking horns, and the visible rage boiling in his rearview mirror. But try to pass him, and suddenly he becomes offended. He’ll match your speed just enough to box you in, like it’s a personal insult that you dared attempt efficiency.
He’s the kind of guy who would quote the speed limit like scripture while doing 63 in a 70 and holding back a convoy of 17 vehicles. The moment you go around, he speeds up—not to pass anyone, just to punish you for trying.
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Common Traits:
Drives a base-model vehicle: Camry, Impala, Altima, or a beige Buick with zero visible dents (but plenty of emotional ones)
Has a college parking decal that expired in 2013
Uses cruise control as a personality trait
Turn signal is optional (and usually left on for several counties)
May sport bumper stickers like:
“I brake for butterflies”
“My other car is a prayer”
Or ironically: “Keep Right Except to Pass”
Windows always up. Volume always low. Seat leaned forward like he's landing a plane.
Larry isn’t actively malicious—just militantly oblivious. He ignores flashing lights, honking horns, and the visible rage boiling in his rearview mirror. But try to pass him, and suddenly he becomes offended. He’ll match your speed just enough to box you in, like it’s a personal insult that you dared attempt efficiency.
He’s the kind of guy who would quote the speed limit like scripture while doing 63 in a 70 and holding back a convoy of 17 vehicles. The moment you go around, he speeds up—not to pass anyone, just to punish you for trying.
---
Common Traits:
Drives a base-model vehicle: Camry, Impala, Altima, or a beige Buick with zero visible dents (but plenty of emotional ones)
Has a college parking decal that expired in 2013
Uses cruise control as a personality trait
Turn signal is optional (and usually left on for several counties)
May sport bumper stickers like:
“I brake for butterflies”
“My other car is a prayer”
Or ironically: “Keep Right Except to Pass”
Windows always up. Volume always low. Seat leaned forward like he's landing a plane.
Cop: Sir, do you know why I pulled you over?
Left Lane Larry: I was doing the speed limit.
Cop: In the passing lane. For 14 exits. With no one in front of you.
Left Lane Larry: I was setting the pace.
Left Lane Larry: I was doing the speed limit.
Cop: In the passing lane. For 14 exits. With no one in front of you.
Left Lane Larry: I was setting the pace.
by Pary Moppins July 10, 2025
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