Jersey Turtle

A Jersey Turtle is an annoying and vaguely Soprano-esqe pest that crawls out of the armpit of the United States, New Jersey, and infests 'quaint' and 'resort' towns throughout the state of Vermont. As soon as the snow hits they come up from hibernation to 'hit the slopes, dude!' The most common location for a Jersey Turtle to be spotted is along USRT.4 heading from New York state into Rutland, VT.

Most Jersey Turtles are large oversized SUVs including (but not limited to): Suburbans, Hummers, Tahoes, Lexus', and rarely a Land Rover. Expect to see various items of ski/snowboard gear to be strewn across the road as well... this is the telltale sign that a Jersey Turtle has been in the area.

"Oh crap, is that a car in the median?"
"Nah, it's just a Jersey Turtle."
"Ah, ok... they should learn to drive"
"Sure, but then what would they replace the drives licenses with in the vending machines?"
"Good point."

by theturtlehunter February 24, 2010

Swiss Turtleneck

The act of a man's head being placed between two sets of large breasts so that the breasts make a "turtleneck" over the man's neck

Brandon: "Dude, i just got the two Emily's to give me a Swiss Turtleneck!"

Blake: "Nice, dude!"

by Big Choctaw July 8, 2010

hairy turtle

A term for a person's pubic hair or bush that has a bald spot.

Referring the the 'turtle' part of this nick name, a hairy turtle is more common in males than females(seeing as how women tend to shave their pubic region more often than men).

It seems that most men pride themselves on the cleanliness of their hairy turtle, rather than remove it.

by Innuendo Mistress October 30, 2010

Holy turtle penis

When you are extemely surprised, just like OMFG

something like:

TWO GUYS PLAYIONG A VIDEOGAME
A:HEY, YOU
INCREDIBLE MOVE*

B: HOLY TURTLE PENIS!

by stevewolf May 11, 2012

Turtle beach

A sexual position in where you strap each of your testicles to the participants respective ears and rapidly thrust your girth into their throat while screaming "Aww, Fuck yeah cunt!".

"My dad gave me a turtle beach for Christmas last year".

by Pewgheypai October 25, 2014

Snapping Turtle

Someone who takes a long time to snap back

Jake: Damn Jacob play that music!
Jacob: hold on! I'm snapping!
Jake: wow, your such a snapping turtle!

by WildThang903 July 27, 2016

turtle neck sweater

when you are going down on a chick and she has a turtle head that pokes you in the neck, and you start to sweat because you are afraid of being shit on

The man was not expecting to wear a turtle neck sweater that evening.

by peter palmer February 11, 2006