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Captain Closealot

The official title of a top producing Salesperson.
We'd like to Captain Closealot for making us the #1 Ad agency in the world!
by The Double E August 26, 2023
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Captain Raymond Holt

An adorable big black guy who once read the entire Urban dictionary in only 74 mins. so that he "could converse with the others uniformed officers" .

He's been the captain of Brooklyn 99 precint, a kind of Daddy figure for Jake Peralta and a loving husband to Kevin.

His worst enemy is Madeline Wuntch , for whom he has frequently travelled abroad "to look for new Wuntch insults" . She later demoted him from captain to cop, escalating season 7th in a crazy funny situation.

His robot personality has smoothed down more and more during the 8th seasons of the show and his straight alter-ego "Is a real dog!" (quote by Jake Peralta).

He's really loved by all the squad and makes a great character who loves to send criminals, alias. PUNKS, in prison.
Grandma: "Derek, did you steal 20 bucks from my wallet again?!"
Derek: "...nope"
Grandma: "I know you are lying, You, PUNK!"
Derek: "Gosh, you really sound like Captain Raymond Holt"

"There is nothing more intoxicating that the clear absence of a penis" - Captain Holt alter-ego.
by Spaghetti_Lover_69 September 13, 2023
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captain squiral

lover boy called shaeden who has a huge penus and also loves a girl called grace. Mostly seen smokeing bud in his liveing room with his mates. He tryed to ride a scooter back in the day but he was apsolupe shite at it. Sometimes i feel bad for him as his dad is the most wanted in blackpool
by dobby1234 October 4, 2023
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Captain Hindisight

When an indian person tells you something totally obvious.
- I'm doing some renovations on the house and I just couldn't find a particular tool anywhere. Literally scanning the whole city this week and when I talked with Rajesh about that, he was like: "did you check the local hardware store"?

- Lol, classic Captain Hindisight
by newlhaz November 26, 2021
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Captain Jackass

Phrase. Identifying. A individual who always gives "advice" or graces others with there "superior intellect" in a loud annoying way that is common sense(or should be) or has already been stated but now they will say it again in a different tone as if it was never heard or said (short term memory recall), this advice or information is usually given after something has been decided/discussed making the individual feel as though they solved everything and/or nothing would have been decided/done/gained hadnt they "spoken up" these individuals must always have the last word even days later and just a sound; Captain Jackass is not a nick name, this phrase is only use in the type of situation/moment it refers. Traditionally once the individual starts "the thing of it is" speech they are allowed to finish, making this phrase more appropriate as "stupid" doesnt know when to stop once they are pleased with themselves (or youve had enough)give them eye contact and firmly state "THANK YOU CAPTAIN JACKASS!!" Adding a "WELL" in front of the phrase to interrupt is optional; Hopefully there is room for reinforcing/retraining the simple minded brain that the knowledge they DO have is basic at best n adults are talking now, If not you have just learn a wonderful new phrase thats perfect when used properly every time!
1: Did you know if you stand in the road you could get hit by a car?.....Yah i know

2: WELL THANK YOU CAPTAIN JACKASS!! You are a true asset to mankind......scholar to your peers n such ...
1: What ... Captain peers, like captain Malibu honey ...dbdjf....ddfd.. yah i drink that..
2: You want me to hit you with the newspaper again .... ima get it ...

1: Iam going to the bank in the moring because they are closed after 12pm and I n....
*LOUD INTERRUPTING STUPIDITY*
2: You should go to the bank 1st in the morning remeber they close at 12pm and yo....THE THING OF IT IS my sisters brothers half dogs cusin pet trees gmas worked at the bank makr short story long now they owe me money so they say if you give me your money then ill givejz fieobdbdjrvjfndbwhdjdktnfj dd fkd and ..
3: *WITH THE ASSIST* THANK YOU CAPTAIN JACKASS! WE GOT IT !!

1: Thanks bruh I couldnt take it all that gibberish....its like she making words with ABC magnets ...but THEY JUST BANANA STICKERS! .... i owe you

3: Yep ..you sure do sir ..sure do....Ill add it to your BroTab
2: *Talking to self* Oh uh PEE...Thats what i had ment to say i gottda dpeiplldbdbh....
by ScreenDoor-Junkie July 6, 2022
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content captain

by green boi pg3d July 8, 2022
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captain jack

by __2301____ July 17, 2022
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