Captain Wankstash

A name first used in spoken conversation when referring to the fictional character Simon from the TV series The Walking Dead, who supported an excessively flamboyant moustache and cheesy grin. This, coupled with his attempts to emulate his boss Negan and general wankerism led to the formation of the moniker.
Similar examples would be: Douchie McDouchebag; Sergeant Dickface; Lord Twat of Knobington Manor, etc, of which the original creator of the name Captain Wankstash seemingly has an endless supply.

Can also be written Captain Wankstache

Suggested use: for mustachioed military/ uniformed non-military types, with attitudes far in excess of their competence /accomplishment. Is not restricted to this use but it's a good fit for it.

Who was that guy? You know, Captain Wankstache.

Alright Captain Wankstash, calm down/give it a rest.

Here we go, Captain Wankstache is at it again.

by FecktardIntolerant May 12, 2023

Captain Trips

Someone who has achieved 0 pulse, 0 heartbeat and 0 respiration. Known to some in the EMS/Law Enforcement as "Triple Zero"

We had a check-for-well-being call and when we got there the guy turned out to be Captain Trips.

by sheepdog4life December 4, 2022

Snack Captain

The person in the relationship who thinks they’re the better snack buyer, but usually a person who uses this term selfishly is not.

I.E “I am the snack captain and pretzels are a good snack.”
Also
“You’re just mad you’re not the snack captain because you like candy.”

by Ewa WooWa December 27, 2022

captain lighthouse

A tall bald headed person who has a bright glare on their head that tends to blind others. It can be used also as a beacon of light for lost travelers, who often may refer to the landmark as guidance in their travel.
Waiver: Travelers should wear sunglasses to prevent damage to their eyes when looking directly at the light house.

Ricky Bobby was lost until he found Captain Lighthouse and was guided back to safety.

by A damn Yankee January 4, 2023

Captains Knock

Matty Short's match winning innings of 100 off 59 nuts chasing a record 230.

Need a 'captains knock' here

by sui9999 January 5, 2023

Sand captain

Term for Arabians, generally considered a racial slur.

Look at that sand captain over there.

by Ali Alu January 10, 2023

Mashed Potato Captain

The act of putting Mashed Potatoes in a Pastry Bag and squirting them into someone’s ass… Then having Anal sex and cumming in the ass. Putting a tube in said ass and sucking the cum and potatoes out!

I was with my girl last night and she made me a Mashed Potato Captain.

by Dumpeldore July 18, 2023