pokey bum wank

The insertion of your finger or object into your rectum whilst masturbating, to increase pleasure

" I'm for a pokey bum wank tonight "

by ayrshire pedro October 24, 2008

Suicide wank chop

Where you have to take a shot of ice cold lemoncello then immediately followed by a line of ketamine.

'Hey James! How about me and you go back to the apartment and do a suicide wank chop?'
'Mate, we can do anything'

by Renato1 July 30, 2015

stone age wank

when you dont have anything to masturbate to so you must think about it

the internet is down so i'll have to stone age wank

by R1E2U3 May 20, 2017

Pointy Bum Wank

When you simultaneously have a wank while sticking you finger up your bum then proceed to point the shit covered finger at surrounding people.

"Just had a pointy bum wank in asda"

"Who at?"

"The man who was baking cookies"

by its as easy as 123 October 9, 2016

Wank like an Egyptian.

The act of masturbating whereby one uses only their imagination to reach climax. Internet porn is not allowed.

Guy 1: "I'm gonna go home and take a shower after we're done here."

Guy 2: "You gonna rub one out while you're there?"

Guy 1: "Man, come on, you know I can't wank like an Egyptian."

Guy 3: "No talking in the operating theatre please"

by BltS3 February 20, 2011

Wank yourself Watson

A polite way of telling somebody to screw off. Very similar to no shit Sherlock

Person 1: Hey the sky is blue
Person 2: No shit Sherlock

Person 1: Wank yourself Watson

by Jaydee18 September 4, 2013

Wanking on the door knob

The informal term for Auto Erotic Asphyxiaton by hanging onesself from the door - commonly used by coroners & medical examiners in informal setting

Did you determine the cause of death Scott?
I think we can rule out foul play Ed, I'm fairly certain he was just wanking on the door knob.

by Ed Bosh February 12, 2022