Jesus Lover

These are typically old ladies living in Camarillo who believe everyone is going to hell.

My parents live in a retirement community full of Jesus Lovers.

by Jean Cadault May 22, 2023

The Jesus Bump

Noun

1. Euphemism for awkward Christian sex.

2. Christian dry humping

3. Mormon anal sex

4. A dance move done by Christians in which they spread their arms out to the side to look like Jesus on the cross. Then with feet together hop to the beat of music with knees barely bending. Palms facing forward.

Verb

-ed, ing

The act of doing any of the above

Dude, that Mormon girl; she's totally down for the Jesus Bump.

Yea, man, she was so uptight. But she let me Jesus Bump that.

Man, that Baptist girl was a freak. We did the Jesus bump and soaking.

by Undercommons September 3, 2014

Jesus Boner

When you are flaccid, but you really need to get up in there...You pray to Jesus and he delivers a massive boner.

"Please give me this Jesus boner, Christ. To fuck this chick/dude!"

by TheBonePolice January 9, 2019

jesus hurtado

Jesus is the most amazing person you will ever meet , tends to be sweet,caring, and handsome. Has an amazing smile and fun to hang around with . Any girl would love to have a guy like him , Tends to know how to play the guitar.. He wil bightwn each and everyday of yours . Has a big heart , beautiful eyes , good looking and a amazing personality . If you make him mad he doesn't play .. Plays tennis.. SEXY haha .. Well jesus's are unique and the best thing that can ever happen to you. A blessing ❤️

I love jesus Hurtado

by Gordaa January 26, 2014

Jesus-Effect

The act of surrounding oneself' with glaringly less attractive individuals in order to deceptively increase oneself' ego/value.

That girl isn't that pretty dude, look at her friends, total Jesus-effect.

by AwesomeSaucePan December 6, 2019

Jesus Jimmy

A drink consisting of three shots of Jagermeister with a floater of Chartreuse

Bartender, I'd like me another Jesus Jimmy please

by Mr Buttsponge February 13, 2022

Jesus Nectar

Grand Marnier, an orange-flavored cognac-based liquer, 40% (80 proof). Labeled Jesus Nectar as it the only adult beverage suitable for Jesus. It has been foretold that if Jesus were to come back to earth, it would be to drink Grand Marnier and pop at bitches in the club parking lot.

Vincent: I need a drink. You need a drink? How about a fernet?

Jules: Fuck that noise, I only drink that Jesus Nectar.

by Nerdrow November 11, 2010