Kinky Jesus

A sexual position where the woman goes up against the wall, with her arms out horizontally like Jesus. The man is in front of her with his hands clasped in hers, humping her very fast and sweaty.

Also, if you're into this sort of thing, it can be done with two guys but they both face the same direction.

My girlfriend was begging me to give her a kinky jesus.

by Alex and the Delawana crew October 2, 2007

Jesus is Savior

Jesus is savior is perhaps the biggest troll website on the internet. Within its hallowed lines of code, insane author David J. Stewart, only real prophet of one Jesus H. Christ, spreads the true word of God to everyone who incurs his (David’s) wrath, such as the whole human race, which includes but is not limited to whites, blacks, Asians, Arabs, Chinks, niggas, niggers, Negroes, crackers, Whitey, terrorists, faggots, and the French, and reveals to you that everything you know and love is in reality “of the devil” (even the Bible) and run by “Banksters.” According to this website, anyone who is not David Stewart is bound for demonic booty-rape in Hell, the domain of the Devil, Illuminati, and Democratic Party. The website uses elegant literary devices such as contradiction, grammatical and spelling errers, non-contradiction, redundancy, redundancy, and destroying the reputations of celebrities, including those who need no help in that capacity, such as Justin Bieber, “Satan’s Homosexual Boy Toy.” The reason this website was created is because David got all butt-hurt after child protective services forced his daughter to take drugs that made her hair fall out. Reliving the Red Scare by calling things Communist is also another prevalent theme in Jesus-is-savior. Later in his life, David became a necromancer and beat small children, which led to his flight to Brazil where he remains today.

Drunkard 1: I have a new drinking game we can play.
Drunkard 2: What are the rules?
Drunkard 1: Let’s read an article on Jesus is savior and take a drink every time a reference to Satan is made.
Drunkard 2: Sounds tight brah!
(The poor booze-hounds died of alcohol poisoning without even getting halfway through the article)

by Ronald Bringus Ph.D. October 26, 2015

Jesus Style

To offer fine or expensive alcohol to drink at a party after people are already drunk. Origin: When Jesus allegedly turned water into wine it was said to be good quality.

I thought I had another box of wine but I just have the good stuff. I guess we're drinking Jesus Style now!

by Mushnik December 19, 2017

#jesus boner

When you want to get up in there...but you are too wasted. You pray to Jesus to give you a massive boner.

"I'm tweeting Jesus for a #Jesus Boner. Please give me the strength to fuck the chick/dude."

by TheBonePolice January 9, 2019

Undeveloped Jesus

when someone has a terribly unfortunate face.

Fuck. Matt Is an Undeveloped Jesus. He is so fugly.

by Bee749 November 21, 2021

Black Jesus

No one less than Tupac.

In times of war we need somebody raw, rally the troops
like a Saint that we can trust to help to carry us through
Black Jesus Tupac

by FexilThaDon December 28, 2016

Jesus Speaking

The art of Jesus speaking,talking to dead people through a microwave.

Frank : What are you going to do today?
Anthony : I'm going to do some Jesus speaking
Frank : Who will you talk to?
Anthony : Actually whoever replies lol.

by Zxkred June 22, 2018