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Captain Slaphappy

One who frequently masterbates
"Anyone seen john?" "Who? Captain Slaphappy?; probably off doing the deed"
by winterkyles January 4, 2013
mugGet the Captain Slaphappymug.

take one of the captain

1. Taking a picture of your dick or asking someone else to. Often said or requested when someone is already taking a picture.

2. Snapping a dick pic
1. She's so thirsty , I'm gonna take one of the captain .

2. Boyfriend: hey, I'm gonna send you some selfies tonight.

Girlfriend: don't forget to take one of the Captain Too ;)

Boyfriend: Only if you send me some too

Girlfriend: Deal!
by PlasmaPony June 8, 2018
mugGet the take one of the captainmug.

Captain Raymond Holt

An adorable big black guy who once read the entire Urban dictionary in only 74 mins. so that he "could converse with the others uniformed officers" .

He's been the captain of Brooklyn 99 precint, a kind of Daddy figure for Jake Peralta and a loving husband to Kevin.

His worst enemy is Madeline Wuntch , for whom he has frequently travelled abroad "to look for new Wuntch insults" . She later demoted him from captain to cop, escalating season 7th in a crazy funny situation.

His robot personality has smoothed down more and more during the 8th seasons of the show and his straight alter-ego "Is a real dog!" (quote by Jake Peralta).

He's really loved by all the squad and makes a great character who loves to send criminals, alias. PUNKS, in prison.
Grandma: "Derek, did you steal 20 bucks from my wallet again?!"
Derek: "...nope"
Grandma: "I know you are lying, You, PUNK!"
Derek: "Gosh, you really sound like Captain Raymond Holt"

"There is nothing more intoxicating that the clear absence of a penis" - Captain Holt alter-ego.
by Spaghetti_Lover_69 September 13, 2023
mugGet the Captain Raymond Holtmug.

captain one speed

by Jdub4200 December 27, 2008
mugGet the captain one speedmug.

Captain Jackswallows

A derogatory term for a faggot who has taken on the persona of the infamous Captain Jack Sparrow from those gay pirate movies.
(Southerner) "Hey whats with the monkey Captain Jackswallows?"

(Typical Yankee) "Shut up prick she's my girlfriend....racist."
by SweetDee! November 23, 2011
mugGet the Captain Jackswallowsmug.

Captain Planet Fart

When you fart with Wind, a little Earth, a lot of Fire, a little Water, and a lot of Heart.
Barbara ate curry last night and couldn't stop Captain Planet Farting.
by 2moist4u. November 3, 2024
mugGet the Captain Planet Fartmug.

Captain Machine

a bozo who has the IQ of a peanut and cant seal the deal.
He thinks hes a good wrestler but in the end hes just a lame ass bum who took steriods to win. Captain Stretchy is the real champ. I am not Captain Stretchy
Hey you just killed a cute kitty. Good one Captain Machine!
by Captain Midget May 14, 2006
mugGet the Captain Machinemug.

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