Desk Jack

The act of masturbating at either your or a coworker's desk in your office. It is preferrable to have a witness but the honor system can also be used.

John: Man I'm feeling better now.
Ted: Oh did you Desk Jack?
John: Yeah but not at my desk...I was over at Lynn's Desk.
Ted: Did you use an assist?
John: Yeah. I used that picture of her on vacation at the beach as an assist.
Ted: Cool.

by TedHollister March 27, 2011

Desk Potato

One who sits at a desk all day but doesn't get much work done, usually because of personal web surfing or playing computer games. Derived from couch potato. In the workplace it differs from desk jockey in that although one's primary means of employment involves a desk, little work gets done.

Jim has become a real desk potato; between mahjong and minesweeper he manages to squeeze in a few hours on MySpace.

by someoneouthere September 13, 2008

desk drop

The act of taking a shit on someone's desk. This warm smelly treat should only be left for someone who is very deserving. It is generally left for a boss or someone of upper management either right before, during , or right after you have quit your job. In most cases it is not necessary to accompany a resignation letter with the turd but can be a nice touch.

"I quit!" "That stupid bastard passed me up for another promotion." "I am going to give that prick a desk drop on my way out the door."

by Storm Martin March 8, 2008

Desk Diving

Diving under a co-workers desk in order to partake in various carnal acts.

"Melanie and I started out with a very professional meeting to discuss this quarter's earnings. But, she looked so damn hot, I ended up desk diving her."

by mvernon February 4, 2009

Desk Drums

When one play bangs on their desk when at school or work with pencils in order to imitate playing the drums.

Jim: Hey Steve.
Steve: Yeah?
Jim: Stop playing desk drums, you suck and it is annoying.

Tom: Hey, did you hear David playing desk drums in english today? He was tearing it up!

by Cha0 June 19, 2012

desk crocodile

A sophisticated way of calling a stapler. Makes people question themselves.

How’s your desk crocodile today, Paula?
How many teeth have you extracted? Paula replies: “fucking idiot, Tristan, it’s a damn stapler!”

by Tristansdumbass June 10, 2020

Desk Turtle

Rounded shoulders and back acquired from sitting for hours at a desk over a computer.(special shout-out to renegadehealth.com)

After she discovered the social webs, she became so obsessed she turned into a desk turtle.

by plekka November 3, 2009