Desk Jack

The act of masturbating at either your or a coworker's desk in your office. It is preferrable to have a witness but the honor system can also be used.

John: Man I'm feeling better now.
Ted: Oh did you Desk Jack?
John: Yeah but not at my desk...I was over at Lynn's Desk.
Ted: Did you use an assist?
John: Yeah. I used that picture of her on vacation at the beach as an assist.
Ted: Cool.

by TedHollister March 11, 2011

Desk Potato

One who sits at a desk all day but doesn't get much work done, usually because of personal web surfing or playing computer games. Derived from couch potato. In the workplace it differs from desk jockey in that although one's primary means of employment involves a desk, little work gets done.

Jim has become a real desk potato; between mahjong and minesweeper he manages to squeeze in a few hours on MySpace.

by someoneouthere August 16, 2006

desk drop

The act of taking a shit on someone's desk. This warm smelly treat should only be left for someone who is very deserving. It is generally left for a boss or someone of upper management either right before, during , or right after you have quit your job. In most cases it is not necessary to accompany a resignation letter with the turd but can be a nice touch.

"I quit!" "That stupid bastard passed me up for another promotion." "I am going to give that prick a desk drop on my way out the door."

by Storm Martin March 08, 2008

Desk Diving

Diving under a co-workers desk in order to partake in various carnal acts.

"Melanie and I started out with a very professional meeting to discuss this quarter's earnings. But, she looked so damn hot, I ended up desk diving her."

by mvernon February 04, 2009

desk belly

The resultant expansion around one's middle when working behind a desk for a living, not exercising enough and eating too many biscuits.

James was super-fit when he started with the accounts department, but now he looks more like 'an egg on legs' with that desk belly he's developed.

by Zoomesy March 27, 2014

Bitch Desk

The Bitch desk is that one desk in a classroom that is too small e.g, for bitches only.

Damn it, I got into class late, I got the Bitch Desk

by ThatThreeGuy May 01, 2015

Desk Turtle

Rounded shoulders and back acquired from sitting for hours at a desk over a computer.(special shout-out to renegadehealth.com)

After she discovered the social webs, she became so obsessed she turned into a desk turtle.

by plekka October 25, 2009