worthless shield

the worthless shield is an invisible force that provides protection for people who are the lagrest drain on society in the world. ever notice how the really worthless people get shot 14 times or are involved in horrible accidents yet survive?

the only ways to disable the worthless shield are for the procted person to find religion, get a GED, or get a good job. this is evidenced by the interviews on the news of family members after a loved one has been killed. they always say "lil boosie just got baptised and got his life right" or "dehdeh just got his GED and was gonna straighten himself up" or "taequan just got a job with the city and started paying his child support."

guy 1: did you hear about the guy who got shot in the hood yesterday?

guy 2: no, did he die?

1: yeah he was dead before the ambulance got there.

2: did he just get his GED?

1: thats what the family said. how did you know?

2: he fucked around and lost his worthless shield.

by champcc1 February 18, 2009

heat shield

A sexual act which involves one wrapping their face in saran wrap and then having his/her sexual partner deficate on to the surface of the saran wrap. The heat from the feces will warm the face. WARNING: Death from suffocation may result...but if you're sick enough to be doing this, the world is probably better off without you.

"I enjoy the warming sensation of the heat shield all over my face."

by JS via CP September 18, 2008

senseless riot shield beat down

when you beat down some ho with a riot shield, particularly in first person shooter video games.

Spetznaz: OH FUCK HES GOT A RIOT SHIELD

TF141: TAKE THAT YOU FUCKER! senseless riot shield beat down ftw!

by Mokhok April 4, 2010

Cock Shield

A guy friend that a girl will use to protect her from being hit on. It is preferable though not necessary for this guy to be gay. If a girl is not interested in a guy who approaches her she will suggest her cock shield friend is her boyfriend. If an interesting guy makes an advance on her she will assure him that the cock shield is merely a friend. An effective decoy tactic deployed by women in order to prevent the awkward advances of undesirable men.

"Dude what are you doing tonight? Wanna come chill with me?"

"Nah, sorry man I promised Kim I'd be her Cock Shield tonight"

by Cashboard June 14, 2009

The Pregnancy Craving Shield

When pregnant women eat junk food with no positive nutritional qualities and claim that it's a craving, they're using the pregnancy craving shield.

"Could you go out and get me another two bags of chips? And a deep fried pizza slice?"

"Really?"

"I'M CRAVING IT!"

"Jesus, put the pregnancy craving shield down already. I'll get it for you. Just stop looking at me like I'm a man-sized chicken leg."

by H.S. Willsy August 26, 2011

pussy shield

The triangular lump of fat that sits right above the pussy, guarding it.

I tried to eat your mom out, but her pussy shield was an effective defense.

by xens July 25, 2008

Shit Shield

If someone were talking shit to you or to someone you know and it gets back to you. Acting like you don't care or not worrying about it is having your "shit shield" up.

Nick: "Hey Bruce, James has been talking shit about you all day. He just showed up for the party man. You'd better have your shit shield up."
Bruce: "I know. But I don't care. It does not bother me unless he gets into my face about it."

by whynot9899 February 21, 2009