An emergency spliff (or emergency joint/blunt) is a spliff you didn't bother finish, so you put it in your pocket for when an emergency comes up, aka. a situation where you just need some high quality dank.
Dude: Oh man, we're going to the cinema to watch Sausage Party later, it sure would be nice with some dank right now
Bro: No worries, i've got an emergency spliff in my pocket!
Dude: Fuck yes
Bro: No worries, i've got an emergency spliff in my pocket!
Dude: Fuck yes
by GolfWang69 September 27, 2016
It's like an emergency shit, but it happens while your shopping. You'll usually have a cart full of items and the bathrooms are "conveniently" located on the other side of the registers so you have to leave your cart out in the open, hoping no employees take your cart and put your items back.
"I had to take an emergency shitstop at Menards. Parked my cart, "dropped the kids off at the pool", came back and my caRT WAS GONE!!!"
by Northern Hammer July 01, 2023
A condition that certain clients will have, causing them to occasionally disregard their manners when contacting a sex worker in an attempt to schedule a booking. Individuals having a dick emergency will often not pay proper attention to screening instructions, will attempt to schedule same-day even if policies state that's not offered, and will sometimes even lose grasp of basic grammar.
ring ring
sex worker: "Hello?"
client: "What are your rates?!?"
sex worker: "WOW. OK, let's start with your name first?"
client: "I'm Chad... can you accept me for a booking this afternoon?!?"
sex worker: "OK, I can see that someone is having a dick emergency today... but let's not totally forget our manners, shall we?"
client: "Sorry, yes. So may I please inquire as to your rates?"
sex worker: "They're pretty clearly stated on my web site."
client: "Where is that?"
sex worker: "You managed to find my contact info online... I'm confident that you can find this information, as well. Along with my screening process. Thank you."
click
sex worker: "Hello?"
client: "What are your rates?!?"
sex worker: "WOW. OK, let's start with your name first?"
client: "I'm Chad... can you accept me for a booking this afternoon?!?"
sex worker: "OK, I can see that someone is having a dick emergency today... but let's not totally forget our manners, shall we?"
client: "Sorry, yes. So may I please inquire as to your rates?"
sex worker: "They're pretty clearly stated on my web site."
client: "Where is that?"
sex worker: "You managed to find my contact info online... I'm confident that you can find this information, as well. Along with my screening process. Thank you."
click
by demergency July 09, 2019
An emergency of the salsa variety. Usually used in the process of preparing salsa con queso while trying to find the perfect balance of salsa and cheese. Whenever there is too little or too much salsa, there's a salsa emergency. To emphasize the urgency of the situation, "Salsa Emergency!" should be shouted whenever a salsa emergency is discovered.
Salsa Emergency!!
I know you're concerned since we're usually the ones in charge of salsa emergencies.
I was preparing the salsa con queso for Cinco de Nacho and we had a salsa emergency.
I know you're concerned since we're usually the ones in charge of salsa emergencies.
I was preparing the salsa con queso for Cinco de Nacho and we had a salsa emergency.
by The_Hawk August 06, 2009
When you have an emergency wherein everything is incredibly chill whiles you aren't high and you know that a joint would make it a lot better.
Dude." "Yeah?" "This is so chill right now.. It's like a emergency.." "What?" "Dude... It's a weed emergency.
by diggleroop54 June 21, 2011
The act of appearing, suddenly and unexpectedly, from behind a bush while shouting "Verge Emerge". Usually to scare a passer by or friend.
Seen as the opposite to Bush Push
Seen as the opposite to Bush Push
by The Sitdownasaurus April 15, 2011
Steve: How'd the interview go?
Todd; Not well...
Steve: Why?
Todd: They asked me what qualities I could bring to the job and I had a word emergency.
Steve: Tough Beens
Todd; Not well...
Steve: Why?
Todd: They asked me what qualities I could bring to the job and I had a word emergency.
Steve: Tough Beens
by WhoriskeyBob October 15, 2009