Maintenance Jack

A Maintenance Jack is when you're taking a shit and decide to jerk off at the same time.

Justin's tummy was aching, and he was also kind of horny. "Hey guys, I just pulled a maintenance jack on the bowl, feeling much better now!"

by Unwashed_Nuts February 23, 2024

Turkish Maintenance

Inadequate, half-assed, widespread negligence, inability to follow basic standard engineering procedures using sub-standard materials when maintaining or repairing large mechanical items. Influenced by the cultural belief that all is "as God wills."

Please don't use Turkish Maintenance on my new Outback. I paid 18K for it and I need it to get to work for the next 10 years.

Current condition of the Parthenon in Athens can be seen as an early benchmark of what is now called "Turkish Maintenance."

by sparklingdark December 17, 2016

Percussive Maintenance

The fine art of hitting or lightly tapping on an object to make it function as expected

*bOOM bOOM bOOM*
A: What the hell is going on down there?!
B: I'm just doing some Percussive Maintenance on the TV!

by We are anonymous, Expect us. June 1, 2020

Maintenance Pokes

Continuing to 'Poke' a guy/girl on facebook even though it is no longer flirtatious, but it is now the only connection you share.

Dude1: "Give up sending the maintenance pokes. You haven't talked to the girl in over a month."

Dude2: (kids himself there's still a chance)

by i_predict_a_roit August 22, 2011

Preventative Maintenance

Preventative Maintenance (PM)

Spray with water hose... Carefully dousing all electrical components.... Finished off with a blow job from the air hose.

Bill did preventative maintenance on the compressor for the pull head machine, it now does not work.

by WrongMonday2020 January 28, 2022

Cussing Maintenance

The act of shouting obscenities at something in order to make it work or fit.

Friend: “What are you doing yelling?
Friend 2: I’m preforming Cussing Maintenance”
Friend: “What?”
Friend 2: “FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT, YOU BETTER WORK YOU GOD DAMN MOTHERFUCKING TWAT ROTTED CUNT!

by ILuvU4What February 22, 2023

Medium well maintenance

A woman who is not high maintenance nor low maintenance. She’s somewhere in the upper middle.

Flynn: Am I low or high maintenance?

Grant: You’re low maintenance.

Flynn: What about my social media?

Grant: You got me there! You social media is pretty high.

Flynn: So I guess I’m like medium maintenance?

Grant: More like Medium well maintenance.

Flynn: I prefer well done.

Grant: I rest my case.

by Brothaontheinside August 8, 2020