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emergency wipe

Although it can be for checking the outcome of possible sharting experience, most frequently it is when you desparately seek the nearest bathroom solely to wipe your ass due to a greasy bunghole feeling. Often an emergency wipe is needed in hot/humid conditions and/or not wiping well after one's last shit, as skid marks will frequently be evident on one's underwear or toliet paper. Due to this action being one of those "unmentionables" common to mankind, there are code words for an emergency wipe that include "E.W.", "Edward William", "Prince Eddie," & "Eduardo Guillermo" (for Spanish speakers)
Hey man, sorry about the interruption, I had to go see 'Edward William' (code that I just took an emergency wipe). Did the waitress come by yet?
by Perv Johnson October 11, 2010
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Emerald WEAPON

A powerful creature who roams the ocean floor in FF7.

So how tough is Emerald WEAPON? It's basic attack does about 7,000 points of damage (3,500 with MBarrier) and causes DeBarrier so it can immediately knock out a character. Once its smaller lasers open, it can hit the party with 8 consectutive attacks. The yellow lasers drain 300-500 MP and the blue lasers drain 1,500-3,000 HP with each hit. To make matters worse, it can also hit the team with its super weapon (Aire Tam Storm. Does 1,111 points of damage for every Materia you have) that can do up to 9,999 points of damage to each character. (Tip: If you don't use any magic, except for healing, Emerald won't do this attack.) As far as HP goes, this creature has about 1,200,000 and you've only got 20 minutes to destroy it or it's game over.
I beat Emerald in just 12 minutes without using KOTR.
by Master Tonberry December 8, 2004
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Emergenturd

A poop that comes on so suddenly that one fears they may not be able to make it to the toilet.
"I'm glad I got to the bathroom when I did, I've got a major emergenturd."
by CamLT August 3, 2015
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Emergency Frequencies

Here are some common emergency frequencies:

(in MHz)


000.5000 International Distress (CW)
002.1820 International Distress
002.6700 Calling to US Coast Guard
004.1250 Calling/Distress
006.2155 Calling/Distress
008.2570 Calling/Distress
012.3820 Calling/Distress
016.5220 Calling/Distress
027.0650 CB channel 9, emergency
034.9000 Military Low Band Calling
121.5000 International Distress
156.8000 International Distress
243.0000 International Distress
by IrishRepublicanArmy December 21, 2003
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Emergency Bat

When presented with a particularly stressful situation in life, a male may choose to partake in an emergency bat to relieve stress and help cope with the situation.

For example, after several hours of attempting to pick up at Arcadia Hotel with no success, a male can head to the bathroom and have an emergency bat to relieve the stress induced by the inability to find a partner in which to fornicate with.

If he so chooses, the batsmen can perform the emergency bat right there on the spot. (NB: This practice is generally frowned upon and may result in an earlier than anticipated eviction from the designated strike out venue)

The emergency bat is not reserved only for occasions of strike out, it can be used in a multitude of situations. For example if an exam is more difficult than anticipated (perhaps a lack of study because of too much porn during swot vac), a male can head to the bathrooms and relieve some stress. Or if you are DJing at a venue and the crowd you are playing to is very indie and they do not take kindly to your Zoë Badwi remix that you spent hours preparing. A quick trip to the bathroom for an emergency bat mid set may sufficiently relieve the tension and give you the resolve to soldier on.
Guy 1: Just got rejected for the third time tonight, cannot take a trick at the moment.

Darryl: Shit mate. Maybe have an emergency bat or something and try again later?? Or you could switch to guys and just give up all together.

Guy 1: Fuck you darryl. But yes I will have an emergency bat.
by knackerbags May 29, 2011
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Emergency walk

When you are at the breaking point of pissing or shitting your pants. You can't run because that would shake it all out.
Who left the shitty underwear in the men's room?
That guy doing the emergency walk a few minutes ago
by kennykenalot May 14, 2015
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Emergency Outage

Federal Government PR term referring to a scheduled service that fails to become operative at the agreed upon time, usually due to higher priority legislative responsibilities slowing down the process with events including (but not limited to) wasting tax dollars on unapproved, discretionary outings, low-mileage private jets to environmental causes, scheduling hearings about hearings to discuss hearings concerning future hearings, and early identification and concealment of tax dollar shrinkage.
The new student loan website that was set to launch on Monday instead simply displayed, "Emergency Outage."
by The Jolliest of Rogers March 29, 2010
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