two cracks in my ass

An expression used when something is hilarious. Also used in place of the expression "cracks me up."

Dude, that shit was so funny, it gave me two cracks in my ass.

by Sal The Man June 2, 2008

Two cocks in the mouth is better than three in the ass.

modern day application of: "The lesser of two evils"

Child: "I can't decide what to do, mom. Should I lie to my new friend and tell her she looks good even though she doesn't? Or should I come straight out and tell her she looks god awful?"

Mom: "You know son, Two cocks in the mouth is better than three in the ass."

Child: "You're right! Thanks mommy!"

by Jordan (Captain Awesome) November 6, 2006

Two Liter Bottle of Bitch-Ass

A fat bitch who gives you body lice, STDs, and then tells you that you're her baby's daddy.

That two liter bottle of bitch-ass has some nerve trying to call me after giving me body lice. I ain't tryin to hear that she's knocked up

by Mark Rialto September 18, 2005

two cunt hairs away from an ass whoopin

What it means is you're mighty fucking close to an ass whoopin! - BL

You son of a bitch, you are two cunt hairs away from an ass whoopin!

by BillyGoatCS January 29, 2018

your ass from page two

Not knowing anything

You don’t know your ass from page two

by Paul Annette July 31, 2021

Two asses in one underwear

When two people are always seen together

Helmi and Elli are two asses in one underwear

by Thimthim June 21, 2020

You have two assholes

An expression that came about in Springfield, Illinois when a kid shouted at his friend, "You have two assholes!"

This expression is believed to show anger towards a friend, an enemy, or somebody you're just mad at.

Kid 1: You suck at Halo 3.
Kid 2: Well, you have two assholes!

by The Crazy June 25, 2009