A severely overweight aircraft passenger that knowingly defies airline policy and purchases a single ticket for airfare, fully aware their ass will occupy two or more seats. "Two ticket asses" are usually female, and play dumb as they attempt to board the aircraft, as if not understanding what all the fuss is about. They take perverse pleasure in making the life of the stewardess (aka walrus handler) miserable.

When you eat dirt for the first time and leave your family to build a shack in the woods