handling the merchandise

The act of masturbating in a grocery store while employing the merchandise to complete the act

"Clean up on aisle 3 in produce. Someone has been handling the merchandise and the avocados have been abused"

by von groovy September 15, 2019

The Merchandise

Any “juicy” parcels of real estate, usually on a female, but can refer to both genders.

Girl, protesting a guy’s trying to feel her up: “Hey! Who said you could sample The Merchandise?!???”

by QuacksO November 26, 2011

Watch the Merchandise

What you say then someone touches you aggressively or without consent. Not necessarily in a sexual manner.

Cop~Come on buddy *grabs arm* You're going to do some time.
Suspect~Hey watch the merchandise!

by Miss Potato Head September 12, 2010

Check the merchandise

To have sexual intercourse.

Come on girl. Quit playing and let me check the merchandise.

by DiABLO_32 August 30, 2012

Easy on the merchandise

It is said when something or someone is being touched abruptly or handled harshly.

Cop: "You're under arrest!"*handcuffs suspect and pushes him into the back seat*
Suspect: "Hey man, easy on the merchandise."

*Person 1 hugs Person 2 suddently*
Person 2: "Haha, easy on the merchandise."
Person 1: *sarcastically* "Shut up."

*Tourist picks up glass sculpture with little care*
Shopkeeper: "Hey! Easy on the merchandise, kid."
Tourist: "Sorry, no hablo chino."

by funny_occasionally January 18, 2018