1) The new standard of epic fail in "literature."
2) The 4th and most dreadfully awful book of the Twilight Series by Stephanie Meyer.
Plot summary, read it and laugh...
Bella "Sue" Swan and Edward "Stu" Cullen get married. Their honeymoon consists of Bella having violent "blackout" sex with Edward, liking it and beging for more. Bella gets pregnant.
(Oh, and totally disregard the rules of biology. ie the fact that Edward has no blood, and blood is necessary for sex and the fact that he has icy cold skin, and thus he wouldn't be able to incubate sperm. Stephanie Meyer won't answer this question, instead she will accuse YOU of having a dirty mind. Also totally disregard the fact that traditionally, vampires are not able to make babies. Stephanie Meyer's vampires are "speshul" and "unike" and they sparkle in the sunlight!) Some random crap happens that I don't really care about...Then follows a intensely graphic child-birthing scene. (not recommended reading for those sensitive to blood and gore) Bella names her kid "Renesme" and Jacob, the werewolf who used to compete w/ Edward for Bella's affection, "imprints" on her (meaning he has a case of paedophilia), Renesme gets betrothed to Jacob. Then there is this huge rising climax and the Cullens and the Volturi get ready to fight and, NOTHING HAPPENS! They live happily ever after. The end.
2) The 4th and most dreadfully awful book of the Twilight Series by Stephanie Meyer.
Plot summary, read it and laugh...
Bella "Sue" Swan and Edward "Stu" Cullen get married. Their honeymoon consists of Bella having violent "blackout" sex with Edward, liking it and beging for more. Bella gets pregnant.
(Oh, and totally disregard the rules of biology. ie the fact that Edward has no blood, and blood is necessary for sex and the fact that he has icy cold skin, and thus he wouldn't be able to incubate sperm. Stephanie Meyer won't answer this question, instead she will accuse YOU of having a dirty mind. Also totally disregard the fact that traditionally, vampires are not able to make babies. Stephanie Meyer's vampires are "speshul" and "unike" and they sparkle in the sunlight!) Some random crap happens that I don't really care about...Then follows a intensely graphic child-birthing scene. (not recommended reading for those sensitive to blood and gore) Bella names her kid "Renesme" and Jacob, the werewolf who used to compete w/ Edward for Bella's affection, "imprints" on her (meaning he has a case of paedophilia), Renesme gets betrothed to Jacob. Then there is this huge rising climax and the Cullens and the Volturi get ready to fight and, NOTHING HAPPENS! They live happily ever after. The end.
It is no surprise that this book has turned many former Twilight fans against the series. But what really surprises me is why they liked the series in the first place.
People who like Breaking Dawn or the Twilight Series should think twice about the shit they are feeding their brain.
People who like Breaking Dawn or the Twilight Series should think twice about the shit they are feeding their brain.
by The-Alternative-To-Idiocy March 21, 2010
Quite possibly the worst book in history:
Read the first 50 pages...
Put it down...
Promised self to try and read it later... Didn't read it later...
Regretted not returning it after losing the reciept.
This book is sitting on my shelf and waiting for me to run out of firewood.
Read the first 50 pages...
Put it down...
Promised self to try and read it later... Didn't read it later...
Regretted not returning it after losing the reciept.
This book is sitting on my shelf and waiting for me to run out of firewood.
After trying to get through the first part of Breaking Dawn, I immediately gave up and asked my obsessed friends for a plot synopsis. >.<
by Hates the World February 23, 2009
Sequel to Twilight, New Moon and Eclipse, also known as an epic fail to those who do not suffer from SMeyer glorification.
Gave birth to the demon spawn nudger Renesmee Carlie Cullen (a.k.a. Nessie)
And with its release it destroyed a fan base with a mere 800 pages
Gave birth to the demon spawn nudger Renesmee Carlie Cullen (a.k.a. Nessie)
And with its release it destroyed a fan base with a mere 800 pages
by JazzateNessie August 10, 2008
The, by far, worst of the Twilght saga, and a huge disappointment. Fans everywhere are claiming they are over the books because of the completely horrible plot of Breaking Dawn. Many people are complaining about Stephenie Meyer going back on what she had said before about vampires being able to have children. She should have mentioned the certain type of vampire that can in fact, have children.
Quite a few fans decided not to buy the book because of the spoilers that were released before the book was coming out. Someone got ahold of the first seven chapters, and many did not buy the atrocity Stephenie Meyer called a book because of it.
Quite a few fans decided not to buy the book because of the spoilers that were released before the book was coming out. Someone got ahold of the first seven chapters, and many did not buy the atrocity Stephenie Meyer called a book because of it.
by twi-hardB4BD August 3, 2008
AKA: A terrible letdown for Twilight Fans everywhere in which everything becomes incredibly far-fetched, disturbing,confusing and totally different than the rest of the books with an unsatisfying ending.
The majority of the book consists of Bella feeling sorry for herself and everyone else kissing her ass.
Does anyone else feel like Jacob really got the shitty end of the stick?
WTF Stephanie?!?!?!?!
The majority of the book consists of Bella feeling sorry for herself and everyone else kissing her ass.
Does anyone else feel like Jacob really got the shitty end of the stick?
WTF Stephanie?!?!?!?!
Ohhh poor me, Edward and Jacob both love me and treat me way better than I deserve and I keep walking all over them both! I have such a tough life!
Bella Swan, after she turns into an egotistical, selfish bitch in Breaking Dawn.
Bella Swan, after she turns into an egotistical, selfish bitch in Breaking Dawn.
by BreakingDawn/Down October 4, 2009
Will henceforth be known as "Breaking FAIL, "EPIC FAIL", or "FAILBOAT EPIC".
The final instalment in the bewilderingly popular Twilight saga about Mary Sue and Gary Stu and their sparkly love of doom.
So bad, it warranted book-returning petitions.
The final instalment in the bewilderingly popular Twilight saga about Mary Sue and Gary Stu and their sparkly love of doom.
So bad, it warranted book-returning petitions.
by babsuvulawho August 27, 2008
The fourth book in the popular Twilight saga, and a terrible waste of money and time.
Not only did it not even compare to the quality of the first three volumes, it also mangled multiple beloved characters, lacked a climax, read like a bad fanfiction and produced possibly the worst name in existence.
It disappointed many long-time fans, and did not deserve the hype it got.
Not only did it not even compare to the quality of the first three volumes, it also mangled multiple beloved characters, lacked a climax, read like a bad fanfiction and produced possibly the worst name in existence.
It disappointed many long-time fans, and did not deserve the hype it got.
After reading Breaking Dawn, I only felt a strong urge to strangle cannibaby, (otherwise known as Reneesme Carlie Cullen) not a sense of closure.
by BlitheFratelli August 4, 2008