2 definitions by The-Alternative-To-Idiocy
The most boring and over-rated actress on the face of the planet. Pretty much talks in complete monotone except for when she's screaming, in which case she sounds like a dying cat. Some people say she's really pretty, while others say she's really pale and has buck teeth. Also a pot-head. She plays the character of Bella "Sue" Swan of Twilight perfectly, mostly because Bella Swan is a character that lacks a personality as well.
Mindless fan girl: Did you see Kristen Stewart in Twilight? Isn't she just so pretty and talented?
Me: What the hell are you talking about? She's a horrible actress, and a pot-head.
Mindless fan girl: OMG! UR JUST JEALOUS BECAUSE SHE GETS TO KISS EDWARD!!!111!
Me: Why the hell would I be jealous of her? Edward's a jerk, and he's ugly. I'd rather bathe in a pool of shit than kiss him.
Me: What the hell are you talking about? She's a horrible actress, and a pot-head.
Mindless fan girl: OMG! UR JUST JEALOUS BECAUSE SHE GETS TO KISS EDWARD!!!111!
Me: Why the hell would I be jealous of her? Edward's a jerk, and he's ugly. I'd rather bathe in a pool of shit than kiss him.
by The-Alternative-To-Idiocy February 18, 2010
1) The new standard of epic fail in "literature."
2) The 4th and most dreadfully awful book of the Twilight Series by Stephanie Meyer.
Plot summary, read it and laugh...
Bella "Sue" Swan and Edward "Stu" Cullen get married. Their honeymoon consists of Bella having violent "blackout" sex with Edward, liking it and beging for more. Bella gets pregnant.
(Oh, and totally disregard the rules of biology. ie the fact that Edward has no blood, and blood is necessary for sex and the fact that he has icy cold skin, and thus he wouldn't be able to incubate sperm. Stephanie Meyer won't answer this question, instead she will accuse YOU of having a dirty mind. Also totally disregard the fact that traditionally, vampires are not able to make babies. Stephanie Meyer's vampires are "speshul" and "unike" and they sparkle in the sunlight!) Some random crap happens that I don't really care about...Then follows a intensely graphic child-birthing scene. (not recommended reading for those sensitive to blood and gore) Bella names her kid "Renesme" and Jacob, the werewolf who used to compete w/ Edward for Bella's affection, "imprints" on her (meaning he has a case of paedophilia), Renesme gets betrothed to Jacob. Then there is this huge rising climax and the Cullens and the Volturi get ready to fight and, NOTHING HAPPENS! They live happily ever after. The end.
2) The 4th and most dreadfully awful book of the Twilight Series by Stephanie Meyer.
Plot summary, read it and laugh...
Bella "Sue" Swan and Edward "Stu" Cullen get married. Their honeymoon consists of Bella having violent "blackout" sex with Edward, liking it and beging for more. Bella gets pregnant.
(Oh, and totally disregard the rules of biology. ie the fact that Edward has no blood, and blood is necessary for sex and the fact that he has icy cold skin, and thus he wouldn't be able to incubate sperm. Stephanie Meyer won't answer this question, instead she will accuse YOU of having a dirty mind. Also totally disregard the fact that traditionally, vampires are not able to make babies. Stephanie Meyer's vampires are "speshul" and "unike" and they sparkle in the sunlight!) Some random crap happens that I don't really care about...Then follows a intensely graphic child-birthing scene. (not recommended reading for those sensitive to blood and gore) Bella names her kid "Renesme" and Jacob, the werewolf who used to compete w/ Edward for Bella's affection, "imprints" on her (meaning he has a case of paedophilia), Renesme gets betrothed to Jacob. Then there is this huge rising climax and the Cullens and the Volturi get ready to fight and, NOTHING HAPPENS! They live happily ever after. The end.
It is no surprise that this book has turned many former Twilight fans against the series. But what really surprises me is why they liked the series in the first place.
People who like Breaking Dawn or the Twilight Series should think twice about the shit they are feeding their brain.
People who like Breaking Dawn or the Twilight Series should think twice about the shit they are feeding their brain.
by The-Alternative-To-Idiocy March 21, 2010