meat tenderizer

Slang term describing a police officer's baton. The term is best appreciated when the baton is furiously applied on the head of some stupid bastard who desperately deserves it.

We loved it when the dude who ran over the little kid resisted arrest, because it gave the police a good opportunity to use the meat tenderizer.

by Frank Klaune May 1, 2005

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tallahassee tenderizer

Taking a meat tenderizer to a flaccid male genitalia in a moment of despair before sex. That way you can Tallahassee tenderize-HER.

"I had to pull the ol' Tallahassee Tenderizer last night, now my dick looks like Seth Rogen."

by BeatenMeat May 14, 2016

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A variation on the Alabama Hot Pocket, the Michigan Meat Tenderizer involves taking a dump into an obese woman's vagina much like the Alabama Hot Pocket. She then proceeds to ride the man's penis on top, probably hurting him. Once he cums, she takes it out and squeezes the penis as hard as she can.

Dude, Vida is disgusting, La'Queesha gave him a Michigan Meat Tenderizer last night and he loved it!

by The Log Jammer 2 April 16, 2010

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Beat it with a meat tenderizer

Simply, to beat something with a meat tenderizer. Quite thrilling.

Person 1: Man that girl Sarah beat it with a meat tenderizer.
Person 2: Aw coo- wait what does that mean??
Person 1: Uh she beat it with a meat tenderizer, obviously.

by Keouiiii February 15, 2020

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tenderize

To immerse the subject person in continuous patterns of sincere, intense and highly concentrated physical and emotional affection.

"Tenderized Love" represents the climactic state of amorousness that results between the subject and the "acting party" after prolonged episodes of tenderizing.

Raffi: I'm going to tenderize you so good - it won't be weird I promise...

Jim: Love me tender love me sweet!

by Haleb June 25, 2008

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