plonker 

A stupid person
A penis

Look at that fucking plonker!
I stuck my big fat plonker up her arse!

plonker by KL June 27, 2003

plonker 

a poo that is so heavy that makes a massive splash with the toilet water that hits your arse and makes you feel wet.

aw man i just took a massive plonker!

plonker by 56413257658374211453 September 2, 2007

plonker 

Almost any penis, but not a very small one.
A foolish person.
A big wet kiss.
Almost anything that is remarkably big.

Almost certainly most derive from plonker as size, but this in turn possibly from "to plonk", to place with little or no accuracy possibly because it was big and heavy. See also plonka.

"Put your plonker away, Eric."
"Oh Bob, you're such a plonker."
"When I said she looked nice, she gave me a plonker straight on the lips."
"It was the biggest turkey we'd ever had. A real plonker."
"She plonked the meal down in front of me. 'Get stuck in,' she cried."

plonker by R. Clayton Jr December 28, 2005

plonker 

A polite, in mixed company, and alternative word for stupid cunt and wanker.

John is a plonker.

plonker by Dick Splash August 17, 2003

plonker 

Someone whose words are not worth reading.
See also plonk.

"Sheesh, what a plonker, I just forwarded all mail from him to the bit bucket.

plonker by Alexis_J_M September 17, 2005

plonker 

What you call someone who is so drunk that his head hits the table and makes a loud "Plonk!"

Ingrid is such a plonker! She is smashed out of her mind!

plonker by Boberto the Great December 3, 2007

Plonker 

To be so drunk you're unable to remember the meaning of certain words.

Gerry: You were fairly hammered last night.
Keith: I was off me bleedin plonker I was!!!!!!! Yeeoooww!!!!

Plonker by gerbear85 May 28, 2008