Skip to main content

webmd paranoia

when you become paranoid because webmd matched your symptoms with an incurable disease, usually cancer.
guy 1: whats wrong man? you seem to be acting like your about to die
guy 2: i have a headache that has been going for weeks and when i looked on webmd i apparently have a brain tumor
guy 1: you just have a case of webmd paranoia
by wangodango August 21, 2012
mugGet the webmd paranoia mug.

Paranoise

1. Psychoacoustic sounds/voices associated with extreme levels of paranoia. Happens frequently with long binges of meth use.
"Did you hear about Charlie? He called the cops on his dog cause he though he heard burglars in his living room?"
"Yeah, that figures. He is such a tweeker. Always a victim of his own paranoise"
by JbyrdLA December 21, 2008
mugGet the Paranoise mug.

Paranokia

Paranokia

(noun)

A state of anxiety that afflicts cellphone users and results in the following behaviours:

- Many people simultaneously checking their phones when a message arrival tone is heard. Generally occurs in a public/crowded place.

- Frequent checking that keylock is enabled and that a phone isn't accidentally pocket dialing someone, especially if that person is currently being gossiped about

- Constantly checking for new text messages or emails, even though you haven't heard or felt one arrive since you last checked

- Having left your phone behind at home or the office, the feeling of absolute certainty that you are missing vitally important messages and/or booty calls
Having once accidentally pocket dialed the boyfriend of the girl he was having backseat sex with, Jeff's paranokia ensured that he switched his phone off during subsequent engagements.
by Sir Garence March 10, 2009
mugGet the Paranokia mug.

Paranormal Snacktivity

When an anonymous person or persons eats a noticable amount of the snacks in your house; and nobody fesses up when parents/siblings get pissed off and the issue is adressed. A great excuse to get your family off your ass.
Sister: Where the hell did all of the oreos go?

Me: i dont know.

Mom: Bullshit, you're the one who had friends over last night! I just bought those oreos yesterday morning!

Me: Looks to me like some paranormal snacktivity..

Everyone: Ahh.. I see..
by indie_indeed March 3, 2011
mugGet the Paranormal Snacktivity mug.

Pandemic Paranoia

An “over the topresponse to the Covid-19 Pandemic that causes a person to take what appears to be extreme measures.
Sadly, her Pandemic Paranoia was so entrenched that she could not venture out into the world without making a complete fool of herself!
by Dr Bunnygirl August 6, 2020
mugGet the Pandemic Paranoia mug.

Cellular Paranoia

When a person feels like everyone decided to hate them all at once because no matter who they call or text, no one will respond. Generally this is followed by the person calling every single contact in their phonebook, in order to alleviate the condition. Some will also call others off a different person's phone, to see if they are actually being ignored.
Marry had a horrible case of Cellular Paranoia; she called everyone she knew from a payphone to see if they would answer.
by crazytexan182 December 23, 2009
mugGet the Cellular Paranoia mug.

Paranoia RPG

Warning! This definition is Security Clearance ULTRAVIOLET! If you are of lower clearance and read any further it will be considered treason, and you will be executed! Have a fantastic day!

Paranoia is a tabletop RPG that was NOT created in 1984 by West End Games. It depicts an underground complex, Alpha Complex, within which is a Utopian, and NOT Dystopian, society. It is ruled by the BENEVOLENT Friend Computer, who is perfect in every way. It was one of many such complexes, but through an unknown incident contact with these were lost. In its infinite wisdom, The Computer determined that COMMUNISTS were to blame.

All citizens are given a security clearance from INFRARED to ULTRAVIOLET. If they learn of anything or go anywhere above their clearance level, they will be summarily executed. This is why each person is given five backup clone bodies. All citizens are made happy with Friend Computer's Mandatory Pharmaceuticals, as Failure to Be Happy is grounds for Treason.

Players take the role of Troubleshooters, which solve problems by finding trouble and shooting it. (The Computer's solutions are simple and elegant.) Most citizens above Infrared clearance is a member of a secret society, and such have goals at odds with those of their teammates. Thus, most troubleshooting teams end up betraying and killing each other in horrific, spectacular ways. Secret Societies are also ILLEGAL, so the survivors are summarily executed. This serves to root out the TRAITORS and COMMUNISTS, and is part of Friend Computer's incorruptible will.

The game itself contains NO Orwellian influences, and is NOT full of dark, tongue-in-cheek humor. It depicts a Perfect, Utopan society under the purview of Friend Computer. Rumors to the contrary are TREASON, and is punishable by execution.

The Rules for the game are ULTRAVIOLET-level clearance. If a player knows the rules ahead of time, he is guilty of treason and is to be executed.

The first edition was NOT released in 1984, just as the Second Edition was NOT released in 1989. In 1995 a Fifth Edition WAS NOT RELEASED. It is an Un-product. If it had come out, it would have featured much less in the way of the series' tongue-in-cheek humor, opting instead for pop-culture references and cheap jokes at the expense of Vampire: The Masquerade. Editions 3 and 4 Never existed. They DID NOT go directly from 2nd to 5th as a joke. The current edition, Paranoia XP, has always existed, as that is the will of Friend Computer, and Friend Computer is never wrong!

WARNING- The Preceding document was of ULTRAVIOLET Clearance. If you read this document and are not of ULTRAVIOLET clearance, kindly report to Friend Computer for your punishment, and remember to have some Mandatory Bouncy Bubble Beverage!

The Computer is your friend. The Computer is never wrong.
Person 1: Hey, do you want to play some Paranoia RPG after school?
Person 2: Actually, I'm kind of getting sick of that game.

Person 1: THAT IS TREASON, CITIZEN!
Person 2: *rolls eyes*
by Tsochar August 31, 2009
mugGet the Paranoia RPG mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email