ONAN

Stands for One Network America News network. Sometimes mistakenly referred to OAN, ONAN is a small-time, mom's basement "news" operation. Shows are typically hosted by distended colons and strung-out gap-toothed cam girls. Owned by Gil "Red" Herring, their only real claim to fame is the manufacture and marketing of matching sets of presidential knee pads and butt snorkels.

"Did you see that 'reporter' from ONAN at the federal conronavirus briefing? What do you think will happen first--she finally gets her adult teeth, or she promotes out of fifth grade this year?"

by ToddUncommon April 7, 2020

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Onanism

Colloquially it is a synonym, but technically the "Sin of Onan" for which it is named for is actually an instance of coitus interruptus.

"Onanism -- it's a hands-on job"

-Ghost, ENTER THE MATRIX

by Jay Jay Ron March 20, 2008

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oona

The most beautiful girl in the world! Oona is a very great friend and is loyal. Never let this girl go, she is a keeper! The name Oona is usually Irish or Scottish. Oonas are more of the athletic type of girl like cheerleading or basketball. Oona is usually a girl that is devoted to school and gets great grades.

She is so Oona!

by Username2002 November 7, 2014

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onani

Japanese way of saying masturbation.

Josh: Man I'm so stressed.
Elucid: Go do some onani.

by EnlarqueIl EnGrotesque December 5, 2007

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onanism

to wank,
to tame the one eyed monster,
to make the cyclops cry,
man's favourite outlet,
a date with mrs palm and her five
lovely daugters,
toss yourself off,
etc etc

"now on the subject of onanism...we dont want to find you hunched double on the sofa bed pumping your fist" (league of gentlemen)

by pinkpill December 1, 2004

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