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A complex phrase used to qualify a declarative statement. Commonly used to clarify you are not an expert on whatever it is you're talking about.

Synonyms: "I'm not an expert, nor do I claim to be"
I'm no jazz blogger, but you should use your turn signal more often.
I'm no jazz blogger, but that bartender over there is fucking ugly.
I'm no jazz blogger, but I am smarter than everyone else.
by elwags July 14, 2011
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Preface indicating that someone is not an expert in what they are about to discuss, but is going to go on to make an opinionated statement about it anyway.
Mulch? I'm no jazz blogger, but you want that in your garden.
by zndnc July 15, 2011
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taken from the great classic film "Kung Pow: Enter the Fist". Just a great site when you're telling a fact that's obvious, but you want to let people know that you're not certified to say such a fact
Wow, look at that bug. I mean, i'm no doctor or anything, but that looks like some kind of ant or something.
by El_Scorcho September 5, 2003
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I’m no Miss New York

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What you say when you mean you’re nothing special; sure, I did this, but, I’m humble about it.

Also used as a humble reply to a compliment.
Ethan: Safira your handwriting is so perfect, mine is so bad!!
Safira: I’m no Miss New York.

Safira: I’m no Miss New York, but I wrote a 10-page-essay in two hours.
by Sunday Fairchild May 11, 2022
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THIS MEANS THAT SOMEONE IS REQUESTING TO BE LAID BY SOMEONE ELSE.
GIRL: "SO WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO TONIGHT"

BOY: "I'M NO FRED FLINTSTONE BUT I CAN MAKE YOUR BED ROCK"
by Hullo, have a goode one February 3, 2010
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A complex phrase used to qualify a declarative sentence. Commonly used to clarify you are not expert on whatever it is you're talking about.

Synonyms: "I'm not an expert nor do I claim to be"
I'm no jazz blogger, but I am smarter than everyone else.
by elwags November 23, 2011
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I'm no Gretchen

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A term used during NaNoWriMo. Refers to Gretchen the Verbose, one of the fastest, most awesome writers participating. In 2009, she won in only two weeks.
Thanks for the support, but I'm no Gretchen.
by puppies937 November 10, 2010
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