Midwife Crisis

The period of time after a divorce when a man gets in shape, buys new clothes and a flashy car. Usually fairly short lived as remarriage is imminent. Very similar to a midlife crises but not age related.

Have you seen John's new wardrobe? Ever since his divorce he is having total midwife crisis.

by CardWa January 22, 2008

midwife crisis

A state of anxiety triggered by finding oneself in the process of giving birth

"Oh my God- I'm having a midwife crisis!"

by 321 barbie March 13, 2012

Midwife Crisis

When a midwife is performing a long and vigorous delivery and needs to change her tampon desperately

The baby cried too much because of a midwife crisis.

by Andy K April 18, 2004

midwife manlet

The midwife manlet is an inherently effeminate, dwarfishly diminutive and laughably lowly little manlet boy who ineffectively assists women in childbirth by immediately passing out as soon as the delivery begins, before then being repeatedly dipped into a small cup of povidone-iodine solution and used as a surgical rag by one of the attending grown-up medical professionals during the course of the parturition. After the procedure is completed, the gory and severely stunted sleeping sissy midwife manlet is usually thrown out with the rest of the biomedical waste or briefly stored in a doggy bag to be later fed to one of the nurses' hungry chihuahuas as a bite-sized snack. The life of a midwife manlet is short, just like the girlish midwife manlet herself.

Manmore doctor 1: Hey, what's that rustling in the biomedical waste dumpster over there? Manmore doctor 2: It's probably just a trashed midwife manlet. I'll just pee into the dumpster real quick and then we can go play some golf! Manmore doctor 1: The dumpster must be like a cathedral to that preposterously petite runt of a pipsqueak prison wife manlet princess. Manmore doctor 2: Manlets rise up!

by ManletDepreciator September 29, 2024

Call the Midwife

A BBC period drama series about a group of nurse midwives working in the East End of London in the 1950s and 1960s

I'm chillin out and next thing I know, somebody's screaming in agony in the other room. I walk over to see what's up and I say to my lady friend "Hey! Its that show where somebody's giving birth every 5 minutes" . She says "Yup! I'm watching Call the Midwife again"

by you_say_what_now? March 4, 2016

The Joys of Midwife Beating

Before you join our little club, you cannot beat midwives with impunity.

If we allow you to join and induct you, you will be granted your Totin Chip, whereby you may beat midwives with impunity. Reducing their faces to rubble and hamburger.

It's a guy thing.

The Joys of Midwife Beating make the world a sunny place!

by Jacques Asse December 28, 2009

Mexican Midwife

When taking a dump with a turd half-way in and half-way out, flush the toilet and have the suction pull the rest of the turd out of you like a midwife delivering a baby.

It was a hard shit until I used the Mexican Midwife.

by The Gooch2 January 28, 2009