masterbating with a cheese grater

Doing a task that is not a good idea

Moving this piano without help is like masterbating with a cheese grater.

by matt1975 September 10, 2012

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masterbating

Expertly jacking off.

Guy 1:Man, I think steve's masturbating again.
Guy 2: From the sound of it, he ain't just masturbating, he's MASTERbating.

by Sir Fizwheel Humperdink October 5, 2007

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masturdebating

1. When you first start to pleasure yourself and you can't decide which person you're going to think about during climax.
2. When a girl is at a sex toy shop and she can't decide which toy to buy.

Steve spends a long time masturdebating since he has such a large spank-bank.
Liz spent hours masturdebating over the wall of toys.

by Bernard Bangwanger December 29, 2010

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stealth masterbating

When one wacks off as quietly as possible so as to not disturb the people in the same room.

Sam: I hope no one notices I am stealth masterbating
Girl friend: Sam ... are you wacking off!!!!
Sam: Oh Shit!

by themanwiththeplan9192 April 4, 2010

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A primate creature who masterbates.

"Monkey Masterbation Spotting" has become a hobby in the South American State of illinois. A well known competitor in the sport of of Monkey Masterbation Spotting is Fred Phelps, a very vocal and fanatically religeous biggot.

The monkey wrapped his primate hand around his primate pink penis, and masterbated furiously untill he fell out of his tree. Fred Phelps watched in glee as he photographed the event so he could show the pictures to his family.

by Gordon Freeman October 31, 2004

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