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imparanoid

The act of making an impaired judgement because of paranoia.
Guy 1 "What's wrong with Josh and Gage?"
Guy 2 "Oh they're just being imparanoid."
Guy 1 "What?"
Guy 2 "Yeh, they keep calling and texting their gf's because they think something is wrong."

paranoid impaired
by JoshBlair259 December 31, 2009
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Textually Impaired

A person who has great trouble SMS messaging. These people typically think texting is either stupid or do not do it enough to be very good at it. An SMS response from a textually impaired person typically takes a long time to receive, even if the message is simply 'yes' or 'no'.
(Sent in a text message) 'You can call me if you're that textually impaired.'

"I only call my parents because they're textually impaired."
by Commander Awesome December 24, 2007
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Socially Impaired

A lack of interest in ordinary socially acceptable situations involving groups of unlike-minded people which results in an inability to effectively converse with those same unlike-minded people.

The Socially Impaired have fun on a more personal level. Our enjoyment comes from groups of like-minded people conversing and interacting with eachother in familiar places. The Socially Acceptable often herd to bars and clubs for their fun with mostly strangers.
Socially Impaired Bob stayed at home with his two best friends playing video games, watching movies, drinking beer and eating pizza instead of going to the club with Socially Acceptable Mary. They both had fun, but Mary accused Bob of not knowing how to have fun because what Bob did is not the Socially Acceptable form of fun.
by Ryan Jaxx November 17, 2007
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Call of Duty Impairment

After playing COD and things in your life relate to the game.

A heightened sense of situational awareness.
Walking outside after playing and seeing a plane fly over and saying "Enemy UAV has been spotted"

Or thinking an enemy is around the corner.

Call of Duty Impairment is listening to foot steps hoping someone doesn't come up and knife you.
by The-Show-Off February 3, 2010
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The Living Impaired

(Upon trying to raise their pet, Snowball I, from the dead)
Lisa: Bart! You cast the wrong spell! Zombies!
Bart: Please, Lisa, they prefer to be called "the living impaired."
by Nacerak August 16, 2006
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Grand Theft Impairment

The 4-hour period of time that you cannot drive or function in society due to playing Grand Theft Auto. You may have the intention to steal a car, kill innocent people, and/or drive recklessly.
Girl: Hey you wanna come pick me up so we can go to the movies?

Guy: Aww, I wish but I have grand theft impairment, I can come later though.
by andytheslash January 24, 2010
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Google Impaired

Someone who can't use Google properly. Often times is told by someone to look up something on Google but can't give a web address worth mentioning.
I was told to look for a site where you can get a free sample of a specific song, but since I am Google Impaired, it was nearly impossible to find.
by Justin H. September 5, 2005
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