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Cockblocked by Jesus

When an attractive girl will not date you because you think that Christianity is hogwash.
Girl: Sorry but I want a relationship that is sanctioned by the Almighty God.

Friend: ooooh boy, you just got cockblocked by Jesus
by bombus August 18, 2010
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Cockblocked By Association

When you can't date, or have sex, with someone because they're the friend of someone you dated, or had sex with. Most commonly experienced when one wants to date one of an ex's friends, but they can't, because they're the friend of their ex.
"-I wanna date Jenny, but she's my ex's best friend, so I can't.
-You my friend, have been cockblocked by association."
by DarkwingMotherfuckinDuck March 20, 2010
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Cockblocked by Steve Jobs

When you're texting a perfect babe and then the iPhone's auto-correct kills the mood.
Victim: I wanna duck you in my parents ned. Tight cow.

Babe: ...?

Pervy Onlooker: Cockblocked by Steve Jobs again? That ducks, man.
by Vonnegut better. September 5, 2013
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Cockblocked by Donald Trump

When you live in Mexico and have a gf in America and you about to visit her but Donald Trump just built a wall.
Jose: I was about to visit my girlfriend but I got cockblocked by Donald Trump.
Juan: No me gusta.
by not Jackie Chen October 4, 2017
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Cockblocked by Tim Cook

Just like cockblocked by steve jobs....only Tim Cook is the new CEO. When you are about to hit on somebody, only they pull out their ipod and plug in their headphones, blocking them from the outside world.
Jacob: Saw this girl on the train on the way to atlanta, was about to go hit on her but then she pulled out her ipod....

Chris: Damn son you got cockblocked by Steve Jobs.

Jacob: Nope....cockblocked by Tim Cook.
by Juhurty October 5, 2011
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Cockblocked by Kobe

When you are the Utah Jazz, and because of Kobe's 60 pointer, you get destroyed, demolished, and your career gets ended because of a 37 year old Mamba.
Man 1: Damn bro, we just lost to the Lakers in the deciding game to get to the playoffs.
Man 2: Damn bro! You just got cockblocked by Kobe!
by KobeBryantAids February 27, 2018
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cockblocked by circumstance

when somebody's situation in life makes sex very hard or impossible

examples are
financial situation

living situation
disability
appearance
Joe wants to have sex with Lisa, but he can't because they both share a studio apartment with a roommate.
Joe is "cockblocked by circumstance."
by eythorh92 October 31, 2020
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