Teacher: "Class, who is the current President of the US?"
Dustin: "Donald Trump?"
Teacher: "Close. Anyone else?"
Bianca: "Some bagel-faced dipshit?"
Teacher: "Correct!"
Dustin: "Donald Trump?"
Teacher: "Close. Anyone else?"
Bianca: "Some bagel-faced dipshit?"
Teacher: "Correct!"
by ToddUncommon March 20, 2020
Get the Bagel-faced Dipshit mug.The act of placing a bagel onto one's penis, lighting it on fire, having sex with a girl, then the girl eating the bagel.
Matt: Whoa! Dude I gave my girl a blazing bagel last night, it was amazing!
Travis: Dude, that's insane I am gonna try that tomorrow!
Travis: Dude, that's insane I am gonna try that tomorrow!
by CrazyBusRide February 10, 2010
Get the Blazing Bagel mug.A deception. To put on such a good show the inspector is so impressed (s)he won't bother with a detailed check or to question anything.
Private: I can't believe the general was so impressed with that dog and pony show sir. It's a good thing he didn't really inspect the base, it's SNAFU!
Sargent: Bullshit baffles brains private.
Sargent: Bullshit baffles brains private.
by Eddy July 29, 2007
Get the Bullshit Baffles Brains mug.The Babel fish is small yellow and leech-like, and probably the oddest thing in the Universe. It feeds on brainwave energy received not from its own carrier, but from those around it. It absorbs all unconscious mental frequencies from this brainwave energy to nourish itself with. It then excretes into the mind of its carrier a telepathic matrix formed by combining the unconscious thought frequencies with nerve signals picked up from the speech centres of the brain which has supplied them.
The practical upshot of this is that if you stick a Babel fish in your ear you can instantly understand anything said to you in any form of language. The speech patterns you actually hear decode the brainwave matrix which has been fed into your mind by your Babel fish.
Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mindbogglingly useful could have evolved purely by chance that some thinkers have chosen to see it as a final and clinching proof of the non-existence of God.
The argument goes something like this: "I refuse to prove that I exist," says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing."
"But," says Man, "the Babel fish is a dead giveaway isn't it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves that you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't. QED."
"Oh dear," says God, "I hadn't thought of that," and promptly disappears in a puff of logic.
"Oh, that was easy," says Man, and for an encore goes on to prove that black is whte and gets himself killed on the next zebra crossing.
Most leading theologians claim that this argument is a load of dingo's kidneys, but that did not stop Oolon Colluphid making a small fortune when he used it as the central theme of his best selling book 'Well That About Wraps It Up For God'.
Meanwhile, the poor Babel fish, by effectively removing all barriers to communication between different race and cultures, has caused more and bloodier wars than anything else in the history of creation.
The practical upshot of this is that if you stick a Babel fish in your ear you can instantly understand anything said to you in any form of language. The speech patterns you actually hear decode the brainwave matrix which has been fed into your mind by your Babel fish.
Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mindbogglingly useful could have evolved purely by chance that some thinkers have chosen to see it as a final and clinching proof of the non-existence of God.
The argument goes something like this: "I refuse to prove that I exist," says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing."
"But," says Man, "the Babel fish is a dead giveaway isn't it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves that you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't. QED."
"Oh dear," says God, "I hadn't thought of that," and promptly disappears in a puff of logic.
"Oh, that was easy," says Man, and for an encore goes on to prove that black is whte and gets himself killed on the next zebra crossing.
Most leading theologians claim that this argument is a load of dingo's kidneys, but that did not stop Oolon Colluphid making a small fortune when he used it as the central theme of his best selling book 'Well That About Wraps It Up For God'.
Meanwhile, the poor Babel fish, by effectively removing all barriers to communication between different race and cultures, has caused more and bloodier wars than anything else in the history of creation.
by Douglas Adams' Ghost February 17, 2005
Get the babel fish mug.by Morgan T November 10, 2006
Get the bafflement mug.Usually used to describe a somewhat beautiful Filipino that has soft brown eyes, pretty rad hair, a lame personality and a great ass. Usually have SSSS.
by smooth99 July 8, 2015
Get the Tiger bagel mug.When a person receiving a rim job (which is where a person recieves oral pleasure to their anus) defecates into the performers mouth.
by JDGfootman April 26, 2009
Get the Peanut Butter Bagel mug.