When i took a shit last night it looked liked ass cream, so I put it in a basket and made some urine all over it and then shoved a dildo up my own ass. It was dank.
by the cream pie master 69 January 26, 2010
by ??? February 6, 2003
A clear like cream you can buy at any pharmacy or your local Walmart This is used when your ass is drier than a desert due to cold temperatures. It helps relive itching or make you feel better after you toke a massive shit that ripped your asshole.
In order to use this cream please follow the directions below:
1. Open the lid (assuming you have all ready have the cream in hand)
2. Use your index and middle to scoop up the cream
3. Spread dem ass cheeks (to do this use the palms of both hands and pull apart till you cant no more)
4. Using your index and middle gracefully rub the cream on your asshole and the parts around it. Be generous when putting on the cream it would be embarrassing if you had to go again in the middle of that date because you feel itchy down there.
5. Close the lid and apply more when needed also wash your hands when your done, you nasty fuck.
In order to use this cream please follow the directions below:
1. Open the lid (assuming you have all ready have the cream in hand)
2. Use your index and middle to scoop up the cream
3. Spread dem ass cheeks (to do this use the palms of both hands and pull apart till you cant no more)
4. Using your index and middle gracefully rub the cream on your asshole and the parts around it. Be generous when putting on the cream it would be embarrassing if you had to go again in the middle of that date because you feel itchy down there.
5. Close the lid and apply more when needed also wash your hands when your done, you nasty fuck.
"hey jessie you got any of that ass cream you carry around?"
"yeah i have it with me right now here"
"thanks its drier than a desert ever since we got here im gonna go butter up my pooper now"
"ok you go do that ill wait right here"
"yeah i have it with me right now here"
"thanks its drier than a desert ever since we got here im gonna go butter up my pooper now"
"ok you go do that ill wait right here"
by homelesstoad June 29, 2014
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A white pastey discharge from the anus that occurs during intense sexual possitions. The discharge is caused by a fault in the kidney know as "kidneyitus". The cream is/can be injested by the owners friend/partner/relative as a substance that increases fertility. The cream is similar to that which is placed on deserts which, minus the taste, is fucking disgusting.
"I was having bondage with my sister last night."
"Doesn't she have kidneyitus?"
"Did she..?"
"Yes. Ass creamed all over my face."
"Dad...thats fucking disgusting."
"Doesn't she have kidneyitus?"
"Did she..?"
"Yes. Ass creamed all over my face."
"Dad...thats fucking disgusting."
by Lindley August 1, 2006
by ILLCREAMONYOU July 5, 2015
An Ass Cream Sundae is created when one empties a full can of whipped cream in the ass of their partner (spoon-feeding in a container of Cool Whip is an acceptable substitute contingent on their elasticity) and then proceeds to eat it out.
I can't believe he fixed himself an Ass Cream Sundae on our first date; that bastard cleaned out every damn drop!
by Racer XXX December 28, 2018