Lynching a Johnson

The act of pleasuring one self with the use of one's hand

Scott was caught lynching a johnson at work the other day.

by Misha1369 September 29, 2009

Pulling A Johnson

Pulling a Johnson is when someone you're dating falls off the face of the earth, and resurfaces as a soul/faith eating douche bag.

I can't believe he was all up in my shit and now he's pulling a johnson!

by DJ Snatchums August 28, 2010

Pulling a Johnson

Passing out in someones front lawn and being picked up in the morning by animal control

Matt pulled a Johnson yesterday. Matt is pulling a johnson

by Maroons December 14, 2008

Pullin a Johnson

Repeated behavior that leads to gauging your eyes out and ending up in the same situation Andre Johnson is in

You—damn I was pullin a Johnson so hard it stuck to the ceiling
Andre Johnson— kids these days don’t know what it’s like to lose their manhood over a working girl on Wednesday mass and it shows!

by Funny-Face November 25, 2023

Pulling a Scott Johnson

1) The act of having to go poop on a plane.

2) The act of going to taco bell, ordering 6 tacos, and then eating them in the parking lot before going home......add a Brian Ibbott for more fun (order 1 bean burrito)

Going to taco bell and ordering a Scott Johnson (Pulling a Scott Johnson"

by ryansox October 28, 2012

taking a mike johnson

Depositing fecal matter into a fecal matter cleanup and removal system, such as a toilet, where you would shat upon the toilet bowl, flushing into the shit drainage system.

"FUCK, I NEED TO GO TAKE A MIKE JOHNSON REALLY BAD. SHIT, I JUST TOOK A SHIT IN MY PANTS. taking a mike johnson"

"I just took a KILLER mike johnson. taking a mike johnson."

by MikeJohnson November 1, 2013

pulling a Ms Johnson

When the teacher gets mad for no reason at all and proceeds to call you worthless.

Putana Lorda is pulling a Ms Johnson

by Ms Johnsons Favourite April 25, 2020