Like masturbation, only dirtier. Mainly performed by:
1) Men of any age fantasizing about having sex (usually) with someone famous or someone who wouldn't have real sex with them in a million years. 2) What your mother does to men to feed her drug habbit. 3) A perfectly
normal act ensuring your mother has to look at
weird stains on your underwear and sheets.
4) An act usually performed whilst lying on a single bed with your eyes
tight shut. 5) Something you do when bored. 6) An act that makes you believe you're the best
lover in the world....or you will be when you start having sex for real. 7) Something that old guy down the road made you do to him for a bag of sweets. 8) Something every male does, but no-
one admits to it. 9) An act that usually ends with the participant saying, "YES!" or "EWWW!" depending on the angle of the penis. 10) What you're doing right now as you read these definitions of wanking...
"I refute all allegations that I was out of order. Wanking at a funeral is perfectly
normal"
"
Sorry for waking you up
mummy, but I've discovered this new thing called 'wanking' and I wanted to show you what happens at the end. Shall I get you a tissue?"