waitress

a person who isn't paid enough to kiss the ass of some bastard who has had a bad day at the office and needs to take it out on someone.

customer: "This tea tastes like crap!"
waitress: "I'm sorry sir, i can have some made fresh for you."
customer: "no, don't bother i just want to know why you idiots can't ever get what i order right."
waitress: "I'm sorry sir, i'm not paid enough to do that."
(real conversation)

by lovedbyhim September 7, 2007

Waitrose

The "posh" supermarket of the UK. Everything they sell is either "mouthwatering" or "luxury".

Ducky, I'm popping down to Waitrose to pur-chase some luxury golden Christmas pudding with mouthwatering brandy syrup.

by errata July 10, 2007

Angry Mexican Waitress

When you cum into a girl's mouth and she spits it into her vagina and gets pregnant.

"Oh shit, she didn't swallow! She did an Angry Mexican Waitress. Now I gotta pay child support."

by Juanita004803283 March 6, 2010

waitrose

a cool supermarket in the UK. not to be confused with sainsburys, asda, morrisons or tesco.

I like the deli at waitrose and the checkout girls are much better than tesco value

by henapen August 4, 2006

waitress crush

A crush that's one-sided to the point of being creepy.

See unrequited love.

on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Charlie has a waitress crush on the Waitress.

I had a total waitress crush on this girl from high school, until she slept with my best friend.

by JohnnyApocalypse September 5, 2012

Waitress Lottery

The act of sitting at a restaurant or bar table (particlularly a Hooters type establishment) and seeing if your waitress is the best one there or not. Winning the waitress lottery often involves getting the prettiest waitress, but it can also mean getting the friendliest one or simply the one who is most efficient.

Example 1:
Guyl 1: Dang it! All these hot chicks in here and we got the waitress who's built like a linebacker. That stinks.
Guy 2: Yeah, we definitely lost the Waitress Lottery, but at least we've got cold beer and eye candy all around us to enjoy.

Example 2:
When she came over I thought we'd won the waitress lottery, cause she's a hottie. We've been waiting forever for our beer, so I guess we didn't.

by TPD in Big D October 23, 2009

tipping the waitress

when masturbating over a girl the guy cums on her face. he then pulls up his pants, before winking and pointing at the girl "fonz" style before saying "keep the change" as he leaves the room.

** note - this only works if you do not touch the girl after you smear her face with your man fat.

"so, mark, how did it go with that girl last night?"
"oh, i tipped the waitress."
*high fives*

"are you on for tipping the waitress tonight?"

"i tipped the waitress last night, generously as well. i completely emptied my coin purse."

by drstrange September 9, 2008