noah: dude i ate 4 burritos from taco bell and later that night i ended up having to tom cruise it
brandon: that's gross bro
brandon: that's gross bro
by TacosDestroyEvil August 19, 2018
A once good actor turned completely insane. He is now engaged to actress Katie Holmes (who looks like she's twelve but is still taller than him). Tom Cruise also VERY OPENLY practices scientology. Scientologists, I'm convinced, are trying to TAKE OVER THE UNIVERSE. I mean seriously, anything started and made popular in LA has to be frigged up. They have schools, and art classes, and buildings. ITS FRIGHTENING!!! How can you have a "religion" based off of a sci-fi novel anyway???? It makes no sense.
But really, he had a list of all the single actresses in Hollywood that he could go out with. Katie Holmes was at the end of the list. A girl has to have some pride.
But really, he had a list of all the single actresses in Hollywood that he could go out with. Katie Holmes was at the end of the list. A girl has to have some pride.
"Oh my God. When she saw Brad Pitt, she went all Tom Cruise and started jumping up and down on my couch. GAWD. Now we need to get new upholstery."
"Poor Batman, he has to kiss Mrs. Tom Cruise."
"YOU SHOW EM, TOM. KICK SOME ALIEN ASS! Ooh wait...nevermind you got sucked up into the ship..."
"Poor Batman, he has to kiss Mrs. Tom Cruise."
"YOU SHOW EM, TOM. KICK SOME ALIEN ASS! Ooh wait...nevermind you got sucked up into the ship..."
by Mrs. Hayden Christensen July 4, 2005
by hooptie-ryder June 28, 2005
An exceptionally shit actor (refer to his couch jumping antics on Oprah to prove that he loves Katie Holmes), and believes eating asparagus can keep influence from evil alien souls at bay (refer to scientology).
by omg!?!?!? August 12, 2005
A really crappy actor who is trying to promote scientology *see also fraud* but doing a really bad job of it. He has also been flipping out at everyone who does not agree with him.
"And you know, you always have to look at someone who criticizes you, you have to look at them and say, okay, so? Who is that person? Why? What do they know?"
-Tom Cruise
He is obviously a hypocrite too.
"And you know, you always have to look at someone who criticizes you, you have to look at them and say, okay, so? Who is that person? Why? What do they know?"
-Tom Cruise
He is obviously a hypocrite too.
guy 1 - who's that guy freaking out on the news?
guy 2 - o that's Tom Cruise. He's an insane psycho freak.
guy 2 - o that's Tom Cruise. He's an insane psycho freak.
by SkaSkankDownParty July 1, 2005
A moron who likes jumping on couches and has absolutely no consideration for other people's furniture. He also looks like a gorilla when he jumps on a couch. But moving on... he has absolutely no expression or emotion in his movies except for war of the worlds in which he looked rather constipated.
tom cruise- I LOVE KATIE HOLMES SO MUCH I'M GONNA DESTROY OPRAH'S COACH. I'M SURE SHE WON'T MIND.
me- go jump on your own couches
tom cruise- OMG I AM SO AWESOME. GO ME. EVERYONE LISTEN TO WHAT I SAY ABOUT SCIENCE AND STUFF. I ROCK!!!
me- what?! you expect me to listen to you when you start lecturing about science?! go bother katie holmes but not me.
me- go jump on your own couches
tom cruise- OMG I AM SO AWESOME. GO ME. EVERYONE LISTEN TO WHAT I SAY ABOUT SCIENCE AND STUFF. I ROCK!!!
me- what?! you expect me to listen to you when you start lecturing about science?! go bother katie holmes but not me.
by je m'appelle moi January 10, 2006
by Tom December 26, 2005