tableness

Short for "tap-ableness". It's a measurement of how fuckable a person is. Similar to sex-appeal.

How is her tableness? I'd tap that ass any day!

by Niels Bohring February 19, 2010

table

a fuckin table

guy 1: i have a tabel
guy 2: how the fuck did you misspell table
guy fieri: guy fieri

by sexualgrenade March 22, 2022

Tabled

To be completely and utterly hammered. We're not just talking about being a little tipsy, were talking about a mild inability to stand up. This is way past the stage where your puking on the unfortunate person you're hitting on. This is like the stage right before you pass out completely and get your stomach pumped and romantic affairs with inanimate objects no longer seem that out of the question.

Ohhhhhhh maaan... i have no idea where i am, will you help meee? (grabs fork and starts talking to it) Noooo... I'm not drunk.(giggles) I've only had a couple of beeeeers. Dooo you luv meee??? I luuuv you... (passes out, wakes up in either the hospital, the county jail or someones front lawn with a very painful hangover)

Man I shouldn't have gotten so tabled last night... that was a badddd idea.

by Zkello February 28, 2009

The table

1) Another name for James Hetfield of Metallica, after he furiously yelled about it on Lou Reed and Metallica's "The View", from the album Lulu

2) An object on which you put things, and is usually eaten off, when sat at with chairs.

James Hetfield:
I am the root

I am the progress

I'm the aggressor

I am the tablet

These ten stories

by Dave Mustardstaine December 30, 2012

table

A usually flat, horizontal surface, around which people often gather to smoke righteous ganja buds, and to throw their paraphernalia on afterwards, during, and before the action of said smoking. Another interesting and defining feature of tables, is their ability to prevent to loss of the items they hold: yes, if you're ever worried about some important document, or an intricate south asian glass figurine, just find a table to place it on and you;ll know exactly where it is when you next look for it!

Guy 1: "hey dude, im so baked, i can't find anything. where are the weed and intricate south asian glass figurines at?"

Guy 2: " bro, they're on the table. right were you left them."

by landlove April 13, 2011

table

a new way to call a girl with a small upper body

Yo bro, she's like a table. She doesn't have anything but legs.

by weedoholic June 5, 2017

Table

The thing my computer sits on as I'm writing this. Usually used to eat with friends and families, and at gatherings.

Family member 1: Hey where are we going to be eating?

Family member 2: At the dinner table.

by Jon Jacob Jingleheimer Schmit November 6, 2020