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A self-loathing senator that wasn't even born in America, who killed 37 people in Northern California
Has fat nips
Looks like a dog that was just scolded

Dreams to escape the nightmare which is his life
Is that the zodiac killer?
Yeah, well its Ted Cruz but same thing.
Ted Cruz by Ted Cruz Lover 69 November 1, 2017
A Benedict Arnold; A seditious traitor; A short sighted, self-interested coward.
Texas man pulls a Ted Cruz after he set fire in a theater and then yelled fire in the theater.
Ted Cruz by Benny Arnold January 10, 2021
A poop that is way too slimy, and takes unreasonable amounts of toilet paper to wipe away, while never feeling completely cleaned.
"Why have you been in the bathroom for 6 hours"
"Oh, man I just took a huge Ted Cruz. I've been sitting there trying to wipe it away."
Ted Cruz by Rogers18 June 30, 2016
10 percent of Floridians believed Ted Cruz was the Zodiac Killer-- and they're right.
Ted Cruz by Bowmen_19 June 2, 2016