shoot blanks

To be impotent and not able to impregnate a female. Only a male can "shoot blanks".

Aaliyah: "Wait...we shout use some protection."
R. Kelly (in his mind): "Damn. I hate when they say that, it's no good with one of those. I'd better think of an excuse. Let's see..."
(out loud) "Uh...I'm shooting blanks so it's OK."
Aaliyah: "All right."
R. Kelly: "Uh...can you put on this schoolgirl outfit and pull your hair back so it looks like you're 12 instead of 15?"
Aaliyah: "OK."

(3 months later)
R. Kelly: "Shit. That didn't work, I knocked her up. Oh well, maybe she'll die in a plane crash or something."

by Nick D July 19, 2004

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Shooting blanks

Sending a blank text message by mistake, or due to a phone malfunction of some kind.

Man 1: "Damn it, I keep shooting blanks! I can't wait for my plan to expire, so that I can get a new phone with a WORKING keyboard."

Man 2: "Man, I wish I had that problem with my girlfriend, but I wouldn't re-up until I'm at least 30."

Man 1: "I take it that you started praying for false positives?"

by jsmith9 August 24, 2010

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shooting blanks into a dead end

When both partners of a relationship have been fixed and can't get pregnant. The male has had a vasectomy and the female her tubes tied or a hysterectomy. The male therefore does not have sperm in his ejaculate and the female no way to deliver an egg to be impregnated.

Female 1: "The sex with Joe was great last night. I love not using a condom."
Female 2: "Hey aren't you guys afraid you'll get pregnant?"
Female1: "We're both fixed. He's shooting blanks into a dead end!"

by Waycarr December 17, 2013

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