Seppuku is the ancient art of killing yourself if you get super pissed and can’t find anybody else to kill. Ninjas use all sorts of crap to kill themselves—guns, ropes, knives, lasers, spears, etc.—and
don’t even think twice about it. These guys would kill themselves for just about any reason and often for no reason at all: that’s why we there are so few ninjas today.
But if you want to commit Seppuku and you’re like me, you
don’t have access to
stuff like lasers. But there’s hope. I tried to kill myself by swallowing a frisbee a couple of times—and believe me, it’s pretty cool. The only catch is you have to be really super pissed to do it.
Step 1 Get a frisbee from the store or friend.
Step 2 Clean the Frisbee.
Step 3 Make sure your
parents aren’t around
Step 4 Put something slippery on it, like butter or cream.
Step
5 Get really super pissed.
Step 6 Fold the Frisbee
hard (this is crucial)
Step 7 Keep
folded and insert Frisbee into mouth
hard.
Step 8 Push
hard until you can’t see it.
Step 9 Wait.
Step 10 Die.
If you succeed, everybody will be like “Holy Crap!”
