when a Mall Santa picks up and places an innocent child on his lap close enough to "the zone" to grow a chubby.
You can never be too sure when your unsuspecting child might be participating in a dirty santa claus. Stay away from Malls in December!
by Dr. Simulacra December 13, 2013
Get the dirty santa claus mug.The fat bastard who didn't give me a Bumblebee Transformer in 1985, and will die a slow, painful death for being such a lying son of a bitch.
Me: All I want this year is a Bumblebee Transformer.
Santa Claus: Alright, you've got it.
--- Christmas morning 1985 ---
Me: (sobbing) Mommy, I didn't get a Bumblebee Transformer.
Mommy: Santa must not have had enough in stock for all the demand.
Me: (yelling) I don't give a shit, he's a fucking lying fat bastard!
--- Christmas Eve 2010 ---
Santa Claus: What the...? Who are you?
Me: I'm the kid you didn't get off your fat ass to find a Bumblebee Transformer for in 1985.
Santa Claus: I'm sorry.
Me: You will be sorry when I feed you your own nuts! Where's my scissors? And by the way, the Bumblebee Transformer isn't too hard to find now. I've got one right here. Bend over and I'll show it to you.
Santa Claus: Alright, you've got it.
--- Christmas morning 1985 ---
Me: (sobbing) Mommy, I didn't get a Bumblebee Transformer.
Mommy: Santa must not have had enough in stock for all the demand.
Me: (yelling) I don't give a shit, he's a fucking lying fat bastard!
--- Christmas Eve 2010 ---
Santa Claus: What the...? Who are you?
Me: I'm the kid you didn't get off your fat ass to find a Bumblebee Transformer for in 1985.
Santa Claus: I'm sorry.
Me: You will be sorry when I feed you your own nuts! Where's my scissors? And by the way, the Bumblebee Transformer isn't too hard to find now. I've got one right here. Bend over and I'll show it to you.
by This Bumblebee Transformer is going up your fucking ass September 8, 2008
Get the santa claus mug.a pedophile who comes into homes looking for children from the ages of 2-9 to molest. He comes down the chimey, eats the cookies and milk the kids leave out, goes upstairs to molest the children, and then leaves a present thanking the little ones for their service.
Mom: "What are you asking Santa Claus for this christmas."
Kid : " A tazer."
Mom: "Why would you ask for that?!"
Kid: "So he can stop coming to our house. He takes off my clothes and makes me do weird things. A tazer could stop him for sure."
Mom: ......
Kid : " A tazer."
Mom: "Why would you ask for that?!"
Kid: "So he can stop coming to our house. He takes off my clothes and makes me do weird things. A tazer could stop him for sure."
Mom: ......
by Ninja Cullen December 18, 2009
Get the santa claus mug.Santa Claus: Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!
Me: There is nothing good about who you are or what you do.
Me: There is nothing good about who you are or what you do.
by FuckYouSanta August 27, 2013
Get the Santa Claus mug.The sexual act of cumming onto your own or your partners chin or lower face to replicate Santa's beard. While also saying "ho ho ho" (optional)
Amy: "So how was he in the bedroom?"
Diana: " everything was going great until he pulled a dirty santa claus"
Diana: " everything was going great until he pulled a dirty santa claus"
by JohnBrown69 April 22, 2015
Get the dirty santa claus mug.Jonny: Santa, I just want something that will makes me really happy on Christmas Day.
Santa Claus: Well Jonny, I know what Jenny does when everyone else is asleep.
Santa Claus: Well Jonny, I know what Jenny does when everyone else is asleep.
by thats right I said it July 18, 2009
Get the Santa Claus mug.by Keona McCnugget March 8, 2019
Get the Green tea Santa Claus mug.