Protein retention scheme

The act of consuming one's own semen to retain the proteins within it.

Person 1: Hey bro how do you get so much protein?
Person 2: I use the protein retention scheme

by SexFuelledManiacUwU January 5, 2023

anal retention

Anal retention is holding on to a monster poo when you can't get to the toilet.

Father George's poor anal retention cost him all credibility during the sermon, when he sneezed and defecated himself with a revolting spray

by Seal Clubbing Instructor April 5, 2010

Cake Retention Syndrome

Otherwise known as KIPLINGITIS. The body compulsively attracts all cake within a mile radius and stores it in special grease pouches developed in the stomach, buttocks, thighs, bingo wings and ankles. Vanessa Feltz is a celebrity sufferer of this condition. Indeed, such is her ability to retain mountains of cake that her name has been lent to the more acute form of the disease known as FELTZISM (See FAT FUCKS IN THE MEDIA).

"It was tragic, she had severe Cake Retention Syndrome - It was a bit like looking at a Battenburg in a tracksuit."

"The Kiplingitis caused the thighs to chaff sufficiently for spontaneous combustion to occur. The smell of baked goods could be discerned for several miles."

by Dr. Goatfondler October 12, 2011

Semen Retention Syndrome

Semen Retention Syndrome also known as SRS – this is when a man is suffering from symptoms similar to PMS. This is caused by a back up of semen as a result of NO sexual relations, or masturbation.

"Nick is so evidently in a bad mood he must be suffering from Semen Retention Syndrome - SRS."

by Best Filth April 29, 2009

Seamen retention

Training for E3 and below in the US Navy on how to retain information better in a training environment.

Hey Seamen Timmy, we’re doing seamen retention this week so stay strong!

by LittleNougerBoy June 12, 2021

Vaginal Retention Plan

A woman who will still sleep with a guy long after their relationship has ended despite the fact that he has a new girlfriend.

Yeah, I'm dating somebody new but she doesn't put out, so I have my ex, Lisa on the Vaginal Retention Plan!

by kyssable1 January 31, 2008

Anal Retention

Anal retention is the process were someone can retain matter in thier anus. This can be liquid, they can then squirt it out like an elephants trunk.
People often attend gym sessions to build up thier anal retentiveness, thus they can hold more liquid.
Greedy people like this as they can jack all the water at a party, or other such gala occasion.(see example)

Thas my water (suuuuuuk), if you want it get it from my anus, bitch!

by Adam February 2, 2005