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procrasterbate

Round my way, it means you keep putting off masterbating, ie you keep procrastinating on your masterbating.
Guy: Ya I was gonna free willy and do my best automatic sprinkler impression but then I got distract... ooh look! a nickel! (..and thus another successful procrasterbate)
by Seatthell July 28, 2011
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procrasturbate

(v) To waste time pleasuring oneself.

Background: Term coined by Bernard Bangwanger to accurately describe his daily activities.
Having nothing else to do, Bernard decided to procrasturbate until he passed out.
by Branden Hart October 20, 2004
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Procrasterbate

When there is something you had wanted to, planed, or needed to do, but against your better judgement, you spent the time materbating.
I was going to use my only free time today making an Urban Dictionary entry, but all I inevitably did was Procrasterbate.
by Jeo58 October 9, 2008
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Procrasturbate

Aus. v. The art of postponing work to meet with Pamela Handerson.
Whilst I was urgently required to complete a report I did not want to work on, I was also in need of dishonorable discharge. So I started to procrasturbate.
by BoredMiner April 22, 2009
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Procrasturbate

The act of masturbating when you have other things to be doing.
Man I have this book report due but it's ok if I procrasturbate first, now I have to come up with some bull-shit excuse to tell my teacher.
by Shaunquavious March 20, 2010
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procrasturbate

To waste otherwise valuable time in self-stimulation of the genitals, or more metaphorically, to waste time doing something unrelated and unimportant to the task at hand; it must be of great interest/pleasure to oneself but only to oneself (which separates it from procrastination) and must have no real positive or substantial upshots.
Keane should be writing an essay but he's procrasturbating.

I can see why nothing gets done in the house; Suzy often tends to procrasturbate by watching The Notebook over and over again.
by Keane B June 11, 2006
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procrasterbate

v. to masturbate instead of tending to one's responsibilities, where the obvious and more productive and/or beneficial choice, such as finishing one's work or getting much needed rest, is put off for the duration of the "me time" session, and often ignored altogether.

see also procrasterbation, procrasterbator, procrasterbatory
frank: sorry i'm too tired to drive, man. i'm exhausted.
dave: really? didnt you go to your room to pass out at real early last night?
frank: yeah, but i didn't end up going to sleep until about 3 or so.
dave: why?
frank: i dont know, man. i watched "wild things" and it was stupid of me, but i started to procrasterbate for however long it takes form the opening credits to the end of that threesome scene.

or

jenny: what time will you be ready to go to the store to get ingredients for chili night?
kara: probably about five o'clock or so, but call me.
jenny: i swear, if you procrasterbate and aren't ready until a quarter past, you're done for.
by steve m g December 26, 2007
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